


a togetherness

by Set_Suna



Series: it takes a discord server - SBI & Co. IRL Fics [1]
Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Blood and Injury, Car Accidents, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Dynamics, Fluff and Humor, Found Family, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Hyperventilation, I can't not write angst sorry, MCYT Advent Calendar Prompts (Video Blogging RPF), Nightmares, No Beta We Die Like Wilbur in Skyblockle, Not to dunk on tommy's parents all the time I have no idea what they're actually like, Platonic Cuddling, Secret Santa, Self-Worth Issues, Tags to be added, parental neglect, this tag makes this sound bad its a nose bleed, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:27:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 31,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27833764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Set_Suna/pseuds/Set_Suna
Summary: "Do you know how to ice skate, Tommy?" Wil asked, gesturing ahead of them.Tommy glanced forward, seeing Techno lacing up some skates while Phil held three other pairs. He shrugged."Well enough."Tommy didn't know how to ice skate. He assumed he could manage alright, but that proved to be false as soon as he was on the ice. He'd never got the chance to try it before. His parents were never interested enough to teach him, if they even knew how. When they were home for the holidays, they usually spent the time indoors. It's probably why Tommy was so unaccustomed to the cold.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Phil Watson, Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot, Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Niki | Nihachu & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Niki | Nihachu & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Series: it takes a discord server - SBI & Co. IRL Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2184753
Comments: 469
Kudos: 2358
Collections: MCYT Advent Calendar Prompts 2020, SBI Family Feels





	1. Just Us

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyy gang! I wanna try and do the Christmas Advent Prompts so, here I am! I'll do my best to keep up tho college is kickin my ass. Sorry if this is incoherent I wrote it all today and mostly past 9:00 PM that's why it's late fjsk

Tommy huffed a breath, watching the puff of smoke dissolve while he rubbed his gloved hands together. He hated the cold. No matter how much he bundled up, it always managed to settle deep in his skin. Even pressed up against Techno's side, he still shivered in the cold. And Techno was practically a human heater. Techno knew how much Tommy despised the winter months, so he'd resigned to keeping an arm wrapped around Tommy's shoulders. Not to say Tommy wasn't thankful, but being semi-cuddled by his older brother figure at a public market was kind of embarrassing. He liked the warmth too much to slip away, though. 

"This sucks," Tommy grumbled, attempting to dig his hands deeper into his pockets. 

"Maybe if you weren't such a twig, you'd be more cold resistant," Techno responded. 

"You saying I'm too skinny?"

"I'm saying you're on the verge of malnourished." 

"You're being rude." 

"Actually, I'm being rather thoughtful."

Their bickering was interrupted by the return of Phil and Wilbur. Tommy reached out eagerly, snatching a styrofoam cup of hot chocolate and relishing the warmth it sent through his hands. Wilbur smiled lazily at him and collapsed on the bench. Tommy appreciated that he leaned into him, so he was effectively sandwiched between his friends. Phil chuckled at the sight, nursing his own hot chocolate. 

He eyed Tommy with a playful smile, "We can't take you anywhere, can we?" 

"I am very pleasant to be around, thank you," Tommy responded, cringing as he burnt his tongue on his scalding drink. 

"But you'd be whining so much if Techno and I weren't here," Wilbur teased, reaching over to tug Tommy's hat over his face. "Little cold gremlin child." 

"You are so annoying," Tommy stated, shoving his hat back up and out of his eyes. 

"Can we actually walk around now so Tommy shuts up?" Techno interrupted. 

"Yeah, yeah, c'mon," Phil sighed, nodding for them to get up. 

Tommy groaned, feeling the warmth of his friends leave his sides. Techno rolled his eyes and stuck to Phil's side as they walked ahead. Wilbur dragged Tommy up and tucked him under his arm. They trailed behind Phil and Techno, walking in a comfortable silence.

He did like this market. Strands of lights hung between the stalls, the scent of peppermint and pine hung in the air, there were always bells or Christmas carols echoing through the alleys, and everyone was happy. Tommy had spent his fair share of Christmases alone, since his parents were often away on business trips. When this year seemed to be a repeat, he gladly took up the offer to stay with Wilbur instead. Phil and Techno had come to town as a surprise. It was a great way to cheer Tommy up, he had to admit. He had another family he could spend the holidays with. 

Still, there were things that made him just want to turn around and go home. Kids his age ran around in groups, playing games or buying each other gifts. He watched as mothers bought treats for their children and fathers clapped sons on their shoulders. The warm light and atmosphere made everything look like a dream. All of these things were so common and normal, but looked so unattainable in Tommy's eyes. Did his parents really not care enough about him to spend the holidays with him?

Wilbur shook his shoulder roughly, and Tommy nearly spilled what was left of his hot chocolate. He looked up with a frown, ready to scold the man, but didn't get the chance to speak. 

"Do you know how to ice skate, Tommy?" Wil asked, gesturing ahead of them.

Tommy glanced forward, seeing Techno lacing up some skates while Phil held three other pairs. He shrugged.

"Well enough." 

Tommy didn't know how to ice skate. He assumed he could manage alright, but that proved to be false as soon as he was on the ice. He'd never got the chance to try it before. His parents were never interested enough to teach him, if they even knew how. When they were home for the holidays, they usually spent the time indoors. It's probably why Tommy was so unaccustomed to the cold. 

The others immediately saw this, since he instantly latched onto Phil's arm as they got on the ice. Phil chuckled lightly, but helped him stay up nonetheless. Wilbur full on cackled, earning a scornful glare from Tommy. When the fit of laughter passed, the smile on his face was warm.

"You didn't have to lie, Tommy. You could've just said you didn't know how to skate," he said, sliding backwards on the ice slightly. When Tommy opened his mouth to throw out some kind of protest, Wilbur pushed himself forward, "Doesn't matter now. C'mere, I'll teach you." 

Tommy felt his face get hot, having to be taught how to ice skate by Wilbur. Techno and Phil stayed close by, watching and commenting tips or making fun lightheartedly. It helped get his mind off the cold, for one thing. It also made him think about something other than his sad situation. 

It took the better part of an hour, but eventually Tommy felt confident enough to skate a bit on his own. He slipped out of Wilbur's grasp, grinning as he stayed on his feet. Phil gave him a supportive _whoop_. Techno just looked mildly amused. Wilbur almost looked... proud. Wilbur always told him how proud he was of him. It... It was nice. 

He focused his attention back on skating, suddenly aware of how many people there were and the possibility that he could run into any of them. He slowly slid past the crowd, half listening to conversations.

_I need to get something for Lana, do you think she'd like...?_

_We're going to see Grandma and Grandpa next weekend, are you excited?_

_Your family always goes crazy on Christmas._

_Mom, look at me, look at me!_

So many people were here with family or friends. It really sounded like it was the most wonderful time of the year. So why did it all sound so strange to Tommy? He'd rarely gotten together with family, even rarer he'd go out with friends. Tommy started to realize he was the weird one here. Other people had good relationships with their family. He didn't. 

He felt his skate catch on a chink in the ice. He yelped as he lost his balance, crashing into the ice below him. He heard multiple _ooo's_ and a few _oh no's._ He felt eyes on him and heard the scratch of skates on ice as people came to check on him. Everyone could see him. Could see how embarrassing he was. For some reason, that was the last straw. 

There were hands on his shoulders, helping him sit up, and only when he was up did he realize they belonged to Wilbur. There were tears building at the corners of his eyes and something warm streaming from his nose. Wilbur slipped the scarf from his neck and held it to Tommy's nose. 

"Oh, Tommy," he sighed. 

He took Tommy's hand and brought it up to his face, making sure he held onto the scarf. Wilbur got him to his feet and guided him to the edge of the rink, getting him to a place where they could just sit. He still felt too many pairs of eyes on him. He curled in on himself tighter, hoping that if he made himself small enough he'd disappear. 

Wilbur's hand cupped his cheek and made him look up. Tommy felt like a child. He was nearly crying because his parents didn't seem to love him and his nose was bleeding because he crashed face first in an ice rink when he barely knew how to ice skate in the first place. How pathetic. 

"Tommy, I know you're upset, but I need you to talk to me. How's your head?" Wilbur asked seriously. 

He was trying his hardest not to cry, but his voice wavered horribly when he answered, "It fuckin' hurts."

"Okay, it's gonna be alright, Toms. Phil and Techno are gonna be back soon, and then we can fix up your nose," Wilbur told him, rubbing his shoulder comfortingly. 

"I don't care," Tommy groaned. He could practically feel Wilbur's disbelief. Wilbur slouched in front of him, slowly wiping a tear from his cheek that escaped.

"Why?" he asked quietly. 

Tommy sighed shakily. He dropped the scarf from his nose and mumbled, "Do my parents not love me?" When Wilbur didn't say anything, he couldn't keep himself from continuing. "I mean, I just see all these people and-and I'm _nothing_ like them. They're all with friends and family and I never had that. Even when my parents were home, the holidays were barely a special occasion. I-I never had _this._ Why are things always so different for _me?_ "

His cheeks were wet, and he realized he had finally started crying. Wilbur wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a hug. He gripped the front of Wilbur's coat, sobs quiet and barely audible over the bustle. 

"Your parents haven't paid enough attention to you, Toms. They haven't treated you right. But-But we're gonna take care of you, okay?" Wilbur promised, playing with the curls on the back of Tommy's head. "We're gonna give you the best Christmas you've ever had. I want you to remember--need you to remember--that no matter what, we will always love you. So much." 

Tommy nodded, holding Wilbur's coat a little tighter. He knew his parents never cared for him enough. With each second he spent in Wilbur's arms, he could tell he was loved. God, he was loved, he was loved, _he was loved so much_ by these friends that he saw as his family. He could tell when Phil ran up to them, Techno just behind, with a clump of tissues and a load of concern. He could tell when Techno awkwardly adjusted his hat over his ears. He always knew when Wilbur held him close and mumbled assurances in his ear. 

The market moved around them, ignoring the crying teen, his two older brothers, and his father figure. The strands of lights were blobs through Tommy's blurry vision. The smell of peppermint and pine permeated their senses. The bells and Christmas carols didn't matter. They weren't happy. But they would be.


	2. Sugar Rush

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy's streaming from Wilbur's place over the holidays. Shenanigans ensue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea was so funny I had to write it. It's short but it gets the job done.

"Hello chat!" Tommy boomed, watching the flood of messages fill his second monitor. "How are we today?"

The spam was normal, as thousands of his viewers joined the stream. The usual 'HELLO' and 'POGCHAMP' and 'CHILDINNIT'. His chat was always yelling. He guessed they matched the energy. 

He was streaming from Wilbur's place over the holidays. He'd attempted to tell his chat that he was at a random aunt's place, but Wilbur had stormed the room and declared otherwise. It wasn't a huge deal, really, Tommy just cared too much about his pride. The only real difference was the now common message of 'get Wilbur on' and 'where's Wilbur??' and so on. Tommy didn't mind too much, his mods usually deleted the repetitive question before he saw it. 

His head still hurt from crashing onto the ice, and his nose was sore, but he'd downed some Advil before stream and figured it'd kick in before the real thing began. After his little incident, they almost immediately went home. Tommy felt bad for ruining the night, but the others didn't seem to mind. They'd stopped at multiple stalls before they reached their car, and Tommy now had more sweets than he knew what to do with. Phil had bought a bundle of candy canes to share with them, and Tommy had one on his desk right now. Thinking about it, he really wanted to eat it, but he could wait until after stream.

"What do you say, boys, shall we jump on the SMP?" he questioned after chatting with chat for a while, opening Minecraft. He was hoping Fundy or someone was online. He wanted someone to bother today. 

Just as he was settling into the groove, the door to the room burst open. Tommy jumped, and screamed at what he saw. Wilbur was there, a wicked grin on his face, wielding a deadly sharp candy cane. 

"Oh, Tommy!" he sang, showing off his new weapon, and Tommy screamed again. "Do I have a surprise for you!"

"Holy shit!" Tommy yelled, falling from his chair in an attempt to get away from the man approaching him. His hand fumbled around on top of the desk, grabbing his own unwrapped and not-very-stabbable candy cane. He held it in front of him with both hands. "Stay away from me!" 

Wilbur leaned in front of Tommy's camera, smile wide and candy cane clearly in view. He waved cheerily and greeted, "Hey chat!"

"What- You just tried to kill me!" Tommy exclaimed.

"No I didn't, I just wanted to scare you," Wilbur declared, falling into the desk chair and biting the sharp tip off his candy cane. "Looks like it worked."

"What-What the hell!" Tommy shouted, sitting up quickly, watching with horror as Wilbur took control of his character. He could see Wilbur grinning in his facecam, and Tommy only groaned and fell back on the floor. "You're so annoying. This is my stream, y'know." 

"Yeah, but it's my house and you're literally streaming from my room, so," Wilbur shrugged nonchalantly. "What should I do and blame on Tommy, chat?" 

"Hey!" Tommy shot up again, jabbing Wilbur in the side with his nonlethal candy cane. "Don't be an asshole!"

Wilbur only laughed and swatted Tommy's hand away. "Chat's saying arson. Chat _really_ likes arson, Tommy." 

"How dare you all betray me!" Tommy cried, hauling himself up to rest his elbows on the desk and point at his webcam. 

"What are we burning, do you think? George's house again?" Wilbur ignored Tommy entirely. 

"Phil! Phil, I know you're in chat, make him stop," Tommy begged.

_(Upstairs on the couch, Phil kicked Techno with his foot, resulting in a groan and Techno grabbing a pillow before heading downstairs.)_

"I am far too powerful, Phil could never stop me," Wilbur argued. 

Not even five seconds later, the door to Wilbur's room opened again. Techno leaned in the door, chucked the pillow he was holding, and sniped Wilbur's head. Tommy cackled, laughing so hard he fell back off the desk.

"Technoo!" he cheered excitedly.

He watched chat explode, blissfully unaware that Techno was even here until now. He saw Phil in chat, spamming the message 'THAT'S MY BOY'. Wilbur feigned hurt, but couldn't stop his chuckling. 

"I can't believe you would do this to me," he stated, staring at Techno offscreen. 

"Phil made me," Techno replied. "Stop pestering the child." 

"Aha!" Tommy cheered, poking Wilbur in the side with his candy cane again. 

Wilbur shoved Tommy aside and turned his attention back to the stream. "Stop freaking out, chat. Yes, Techno's here, no he's not coming on camera. Yes, Phil's here too, he can come on camera if he wants, I don't know."

"Can I have my stream back now?" Tommy asked. 

"I'm tired of seeing Wil's smug face," Techno commented. 

"Fine, fine, I'll leave. Bye chat," Wilbur conceded, standing up from the chair and going to collapse on his bed. 

"You're not gone," Tommy complained, smiling. 

"It's my room, fuck off."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Featuring Technoblade: Agent of Chaos


	3. Little Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur's head hurt. A little bit from dehydration, a little bit from not eating enough, and a lot because he'd just crashed his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAA I'M LATE AGAIN SORRY HERE'S DAY THREE

Tommy buried himself deeper in his pile of blankets. The living room smelled of dark chocolate and vanilla. It was warm and cozy and the low volume of the Christmas movie on TV was lulling Tommy to sleep. They were stuck inside for the foreseeable future. Snow was piling rapidly outside, and he watched as the flakes settled higher and higher on the windowsill. He couldn't fall asleep yet, though, not when everyone else was still awake. 

Phil was texting Kristen on the other couch. Techno sat at the other end of Tommy's couch, choosing to ignore the feet occasionally bumping his leg. Wilbur wasn't home yet. He had gone to his office to stream late, per usual, and was now running extra late because of the storm. Tommy wouldn't say he was worried... but he was worried.

There were a lot of things that bothered Tommy. The cold, absolute silence, being ignored... but one thing he one hundred percent couldn't stand was being worried. He didn't have to do it a lot, but god was it terrible when he did. It made breathing feel harder and his mind raced at full throttle. He could easily imagine every worst case scenario, but god forbid his brain come up with something positive. He could think to himself _Wilbur will come home fine, it'll be fine,_ but that didn't make it easy to believe it. He wished it was that simple. 

A lot of things could happen on an icy, slippery road in the middle of the night. A car's wheels could slide and make the driver lose control. Someone could not see another car through the dark and the squall and get into an accident. Wilbur could-

"You're worried," Techno's sudden declaration broke him out of his intrusive thoughts. "Your foot's been tappin' my leg for the past, like, five minutes."

"Oh, sorry," Tommy mumbled, retracting his feet before comprehending the real problem. He quickly said, "And I'm not worried." 

Phil was looking up at them now, concern in his eyes. Tommy hated that. He didn't want to make anyone feel like how he did right now. 

"I have anxiety, Tommy, I know what it looks like," Techno responded. He tilted his head to look at Tommy better. "What's on your mind?" 

"Nothing," Tommy answered stubbornly. "I'm not worried."

"You're worried about Wil, aren't you?" Phil asked knowingly. Tommy's lack of response was it's own answer. Phil smiled gently and said, "It's okay, mate. He'll be back soon. He messaged me he left a while ago."

Tommy huffed and hid the lower half of his face behind his blanket. He could trust in Phil. He could trust that Wilbur was a safe driver and wouldn't do anything irresponsible. Wilbur was smart. He could be an idiot sometimes, but he wasn't reckless.

Right?

Phil's phone rang. Tommy stopped breathing before he even answered.

-

Wilbur's head hurt. A little bit from dehydration, a little bit from not eating enough, and a lot because he'd just crashed his car. It wasn't his best drive home, he had to admit. The snow had been a lot worse than he thought it'd be when he left to stream, and it had only gotten worse on the drive back. He still could barely see out of his windshield. 

Luckily, it wasn't bad. No one else was involved and the only part of his car that was damaged was the fender. His wrist felt sprained, but nothing awful. He'd hit an icy patch in the road and was going just a little faster than his car preferred. Now his car was freezing against a lamppost in the middle of Brighton. He sighed. What a pain.

His fingers were numb. He didn't bring gloves. Still, he slid through his contacts until he found Phil's. It only rang once before he picked up.

"Hey Phil," Wilbur greeted tiredly, attempting to stretch his wrist and grimacing. 

"Hey Wil," Phil returned, matching his tone. "Everything alright?"

"Could be better," Wilbur answered. He kicked the wheel of his car with as little passion as possible. "I may have crashed my car."

He heard Phil sputter on the other end. "Are-Are you alright?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine," Wilbur insisted, "just some black ice, but I'll be a little later than expected." 

"Alright," Phil sighed. "Need a ride?"

"No, I don't think so," Wilbur peered at the damage through the snow. Didn't seem bad. "I'll make it home, I think." 

"Okay, be safe," Phil told him.

Wilbur pushed his hand into his eye, nodding even though Phil couldn't see. "Yeah, yeah, I will."

"See you later, Wil," Phil said quietly.

"See you," Wil nearly whispered. He heard the call end and shoved his phone in his pocket. He guessed he should move his car. 

After making a few exhausting calls about insurance and the like, Wilbur continued his drive home. Considerably slower than last time. He was relieved to finally see his home, somewhat reluctant when he saw the lights still on. He was hoping the others would have gone to sleep and left him to collapse in his room. He hadn't been tired before he crashed, but now he definitely was. 

He hurried from his car, sick of this snow. The door was unlocked and it was the thing he was the most thankful for the whole night. He stepped into the warmth of his house, closing his eyes and leaning against the door after he closed it. He gladly took in the heat. His wrist throbbed and his head pounded lightly, but this felt good. 

A creak in the floorboards made him open his eyes. In the next moment, Phil appeared in the hallway. He saw tension leech out of the man's shoulders. Wilbur met him halfway and accepted the hug he gave him. He was warm. Even though he had to bend somewhat, it felt right. It felt like home. 

"Wil?" 

His eyes drifted upward. Tommy hesitantly peaked around the corner, shyly watching them. He slipped away from Phil and smiled. He could see it easily, Tommy was scared. 

"Hey Tommy," he greeted warmly. 

He expected it when Tommy practically ran into his chest and hugged him tight. Wilbur gave him a squeeze, feeling Tommy's rapid heartbeat against his chest. He pressed his nose into Tommy's hair and sighed. 

"Sorry for scaring you," he mumbled. "I'm okay."

Tommy's grip tightened on the back of his coat. He insisted, voice shaky, "I wasn't scared." 

"Okay," Wilbur laughed softly. 

He did feel bad, genuinely. He hated whenever he made Tommy feel anything like this. He'd seen Tommy at too many low points to not feel guilty. He ran his hand up and down Tommy's back, waiting until he relaxed to let him go. When Tommy did slip away, Wilbur tousled his hair playfully. Tommy pouted at him and halfheartedly attempted to fix his hair, but said nothing. At some point, Techno had joined them in the hallway, and he gave Wil a reassuring nod. 

Phil put a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. He asked, "How ya feelin'?"

"Tired," Wilbur sighed. He tried his wrist again and really needed to stop. "In pain." He instantly fumbled to explain when he saw three concerned expressions. "I-It's just sprained, I think. That's all, promise."

"Then let's take care of it," Techno grunted. He slumped off the wall and headed deeper into the house. "You kinda need your hands for your job."

Wilbur couldn't help the smile forming on his face. "You're not wrong."

He let himself be dragged to the living room. He was forced to sit on the couch and wait for Techno to come back with an ice pack wrapped in a rag. He accepted the Advil offered to him and leaned his head back against the couch. He felt someone take the seat next to him and immediately knew Tommy had finally stopped being too anxious to stand off to the side. He wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close. Tommy curled into his side naturally. He really was like a cat. 

In the warmth and coziness, Wilbur felt his eyelids begin to droop. He could resist their pull, unlike Tommy. When he fell asleep against Wilbur's side, he gently adjusted him so his head was in his lap. He could lazily run his fingers through Tommy's hair. He was perfectly content. He probably shouldn't have felt so calm and peaceful, but nothing could interrupt this. 

"He's so much different when he's asleep," Phil commented, smiling gently. 

"He actually looks like a kid," Techno added, ignoring the kid's feet in his lap. 

Wilbur hummed, "Yeah. It's nice to know he can still be one." 

"Without any repercussions," Phil mumbled. Wilbur hummed again in bittersweet agreement.

Wilbur didn't want their peace to end. He wanted the outside world to wait forever. He would be fine living out this moment for the rest of his life. As long as his little family could be happy and safe, he'd give up nearly anything. Even the entire world. Because they were his. 

The snowstorm raged outside, but the world inside was serene. Wilbur was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops my angst spilled out


	4. Let Me Think

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno wasn't a huge Christmas guy. Besides the usual family celebrations, he didn't do much. Flying to a different country was the most he'd done for any holiday ever. Did it stress him out? Yes, incredibly so. Did he regret it? No, not one bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one with one idea that I liked but hey Techno perspective pog!!!

Techno wasn't a huge Christmas guy. Besides the usual family celebrations, he didn't do much. Flying to a different country was the most he'd done for any holiday ever. Did it stress him out? Yes, incredibly so. Did he regret it? No, not one bit. 

He'd heard most of the things going on with Tommy from Wilbur. Seeing it happen directly in front of him made it all painfully real. It felt wrong to see Tommy like that, crying and upset from something that Techno couldn't understand. He was glad he had Wilbur, who was endlessly empathetic and willing to drop everything to help him. He needed someone like that. 

They were pilfering through Wilbur's limited Christmas decorations while Techno thought about his friends' intricacies. Phil and Wilbur were figuring out the tree while he and Tommy dug through some plastic bins. More accurately, Techno filtered through decorations while Tommy watched. Usually, he'd poke fun at Tommy for being lazy and not helping or something. Today, he didn't have the heart.

He wondered what Christmas was like at Tommy's house. The years Tommy spent alone, were there no decorations at all? No family gatherings or presents to open under the tree on Christmas Day? What was it like when his parents _were_ there? Was Tommy happy? Were his parents? It made him feel sick, thinking about it like that.

Techno wasn't usually so soft, but even he knew the holidays were a time for family. It was the reason he was glad he committed to come to Brighton. He didn't want Tommy to spend another awful Christmas alone. 

It was then he realized he was staring. Tommy was giving him a weird look and was halfway leaning across the bin, arm poised to poke him. Techno blinked rapidly, quickly snapping out of his thoughts and straightening his posture.

Tommy retracted his arm. "You good, Techno?"

"Fine," Techno responded instantly, hiding his face by digging back into the decorations. Someone had given Wilbur a very ugly snowman doll. 

"You sure? You looked kinda... troubled," Tommy continued, tilting his head to try and see Techno's face.

Damn kid. Why did he have to be so perceptive. Techno grabbed the first thing he saw--a wreath--and reached to place it on Tommy's head. The thing fell and covered his forehead, effectively diverting his attention. 

"What the hell?" Tommy whined.

"Go put that on the door," Wilbur told him. "You weren't doing anything, anyways."

"I was helping!" Tommy retorted, clambering to his feet and lifting the wreath from his head. "You all are just mean."

"Sure thing, Tommy," Techno agreed sarcastically. 

"Don't patronize me, Technoblade," Tommy grumbled, heading to the front door.

Techno sighed, resting his forehead on the edge of the plastic bin. He didn't know what he'd do if Tommy discovered something else to yell about. In retrospect, it might not be that bad. Still, it didn't stop his nerves from flaring up. 

"Don't think too hard about it, mate," Phil's voice said above him. Techno lifted his head and saw Phil beside him, watching Tommy as he disappeared down the hall. "Tommy's tough. He'll be alright." 

He listened to the door open and felt the rush of cold send a chill down his spine. He heard Tommy groan and Phil stifle a laugh. 

"Wil, which way does this thing go?" he called, voice distant. 

"Bow goes on the top," Wilbur replied easily. He didn't look up from stringing lights on the tree when he said, "And if things really do get bad, I'll step in. You don't have to worry."

"Easy for you to say," Techno grumbled. 

He clamped his mouth shut as he heard the door close and Tommy's socked feet stamp back into the living room. He rubbed his arms roughly in an attempt to warm them up. He snatched a blanket from the couch and wrapped it around his shoulders, collapsing back on the floor across from Techno.

"God, I hate winter," he complained for the hundredth time that week. "Why can't it just be warm?"

"Because that's not how seasons work," Techno replied. 

"What did I say about patronizing me?"

"I could bring up how your body mass is literally 70% bone."

"Don't you dare."

A stocking flew through the air and slapped Tommy across the face. Techno cackled while Tommy wrestled with it for a second. He sent a scathing glare Wilbur's way, somehow immediately knowing the source.

"Hang those on the fireplace, gremlin child," Wilbur said before returning to tree lights. "There are hooks on the table in the kitchen." 

"This is so unfair. I can't believe you're all bullying me," Tommy stated, slipping out of his blanket and heading to the kitchen anyways. 

"I'm not bullying you," Phil added.

"Except for Phil. Phil is the only good man in this room. Besides me, I'm the best."

The evening was warm. Though it was so far away, this moment felt like home. It felt like he'd been living this way all his life. Listening to Tommy pointlessly bicker and suddenly gain interest in a certain conversation felt like something he'd rarely said before: like watching his little brother. His little brother had been through a lot, but he was still the same Tommy he'd always been. And the thought made Techno forget all reason he was worried in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> family dynamic make me go brrrrr


	5. Season's Greetings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Why are you all being so secretive?" Tommy asked, leaning in between the front seats to peer at Phil and Techno. "What are you hiding from me?" 
> 
> Wilbur pulled him back by his coat hood. "Nothing, just chill out until we get there." 
> 
> "I don't trust you right now," Tommy stated, folding his arms across his chest.
> 
> "It's just a surprise, Tommy," Wilbur assured him, tossing an arm over his shoulders. "You'll probably love it when we get there."
> 
> Tommy huffed, but said nothing more. He wasn't a huge fan of surprises. Many of the surprises he'd received in his life weren't very positive. This one only got to slide because it was Wilbur who said it. Only a few people got that trust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a whole ass day behind sorry gang, I'll try to catch up in the coming days. End of the college semester crunch while also sleeping a good amount and taking care of myself is a strange juggling act. Speedrun loving yourself, guys <3

Tommy yawned, slumped in his chair. He'd finished streaming an hour ago, but he'd jumped in a call with Tubbo for a while. He was on his phone with his cam on in his kitchen. They were comparing the Christmas decorations in Tubbo's house to the one's in Wilbur's. Tubbo's family decorated their home considerably nicer, they decided.

Though Tubbo was actively talking about something, Tommy's focus wasn't on the conversation. His eyes had caught on something behind Tubbo. Among the things hung up on the fridge, one item caught his eye. There was a red and green greeting card stuck there with a magnet, covered with pictures of Tubbo and his family. He'd gotten familiar cards from extended family members, but his parents had never bothered to make a season's greetings card before. 

Tubbo glanced behind him briefly before asking, "Something up, big man?" 

"Oh-Oh it's nothing," Tommy deflected, focusing back in on Tubbo. "Just lookin' at the-the stuff on your fridge." 

"Oh! Yeah, my mum hangs up everything, grade cards, essays, all that," Tubbo told him. 

"I don't have anything like that," Tommy mumbled, tilting his head to the side. "Well, we do get some Christmas cards. Don't go on the fridge, though. Usually just end up in the trash."

"Want me to send one to Wilbur's place? We have extras," Tubbo offered with a smile and a shrug. 

Tommy smiled languidly. "Sure, Tubbo."

-

Wilbur woke up the next morning to his phone buzzing mercilessly. He hummed tiredly and rolled over. He grabbed his phone and held it over his face, blinking until his eyes could read the message. Tubbo was messaging him. He slid open the alert and groggily read the texts. 

**Tubbo** _9:21 AM_

_WILBUR_

**Tubbo** _9:21 AM_

_I NEED A FAVOR_

**Tubbo** _9:22 AM_

_its important_

**WilburSoot** _9:23 AM_

_what's up Tubbo_

**Tubbo** _9:24 AM_

_i was tlaking to tommy last might and i got an idea_

_he said his famoly never really did cheistmas cards_

And Wilbur instantly knew what he had to do. 

After laying in bed for a while longer, Wilbur was up and ready to face the day. While he stared himself in the mirror, brushing his teeth, he brainstormed ideas. How could he get this to work? Everything he thought of felt too obvious. Tommy would catch on to the idea way too easily. He needed to get more brains to think. 

Luckily, Tommy was always the last to get up. Phil and Techno were already in the kitchen, helping themselves to one of the two cereal options. Wilbur grabbed his own bowl and poured himself some Frosted Flakes before leaning back against the counter. He tapped his spoon on the rim of his bowl.

"Tubbo asked me for a favor," he started, "and I'll need your help."

After explaining for a few minutes, he had nearly finished his cereal and Phil and Techno were caught up. Techno seemed unenthused, per usual, but Phil seemed to be on board.

"We could manage that," Phil stated. 

"Do I have to?" Techno asked.

Wilbur and Phil both said, "Yes."

Techno sighed, "Fine." 

Wilbur nodded and dumped his empty bowl in the sink. He loudly stomped into the living room he'd quietly snuck through before. Tommy shifted on the couch, groaning and ducking beneath a blanket.

"Rise and shine, Tommy!" Wilbur announced, leaning over the back of the sofa and shaking Tommy. "We have things to do today!" 

-

'Things to do today' ended up being the same day as usual, just with Wilbur waking Tommy up earlier than he would have preferred. Wilbur argued "it was only, like, half an hour earlier" but that didn't matter. Thirty minutes of sleep was thirty minutes of sleep. That shit did wonders for a growing sixteen year old child. 

Tommy did his usual, besides streaming a bit earlier than normal at Wil's request. He had plans for them tonight, apparently. So when he found himself shoved into the back of Wilbur's car at 8 PM, he was only left to wonder where they were going. No matter how many times he asked, no one would give him a straight answer. It was frustrating. 

"Why are you all being so secretive?" Tommy asked, leaning in between the front seats to peer at Phil and Techno. "What are you hiding from me?" 

Wilbur pulled him back by his coat hood. "Nothing, just chill out until we get there." 

"I don't trust you right now," Tommy stated, folding his arms across his chest.

"It's just a surprise, Tommy," Wilbur assured him, tossing an arm over his shoulders. "You'll probably love it when we get there."

Tommy huffed, but said nothing more. He wasn't a huge fan of surprises. Many of the surprises he'd received in his life weren't very positive. This one only got to slide because it was Wilbur who said it. Only a few people got that trust. 

When they finally parked and Wilbur dragged Tommy out of the back seat, he could instantly tell where they were going. They were at a park, and the whole thing was covered in multicolored Christmas lights. Plenty of people were around, enjoying the evening and all the pretty decorations.

"The market was kind of a bust, so, we wanted to try something else," Phil said with a smile, putting a hand on Tommy's shoulder. 

Tommy sputtered, not really sure what he was feeling. He managed, "You could've just _said_ that!" 

"That's the opposite of a surprise, Tommy," Techno said obviously. 

"Surprises are shit, be straight with me."

"Hm, I don't think I will," Wilbur responded. He wrapped an arm around Tommy's shoulders again before he could retort and began guiding him deeper into the park. "Let's get some hot chocolate, it's fucking freezing."

It... It really did mean a lot to Tommy, them doing this. He'd mostly gotten over the whole market thing, but he did still feel a bit guilty. It'd taken a lot of convincing from Phil and Wilbur and one very surprising assurance from Techno to make him start letting it go. They weren't mad at him or anything and he had to accept that. No matter how hard it was to believe. 

He didn't have to feel like he didn't deserve to be laughing and having fun right now. It was okay for him to be laughing at Techno's dry humor and making fun of Wil for burning his tongue. He was allowed to think of his friends as a second family. He could find comfort in them when his own parents didn't stick around to make sure he was okay. He had the capacity to love and be loved and that is what he deserved.

Wilbur showed him a picture later that evening. They were standing by the fountain in the middle of the park. Techno stared at the camera scornfully. Phil was laughing too much to notice the picture being taken. Wilbur had his arm around Tommy's neck, and the smile on his face looked real. 

-

Wilbur hummed happily, shutting out the cold and snow behind him as he entered the house. It took a while, but he had what he wanted. He sent a picture of it to Tubbo and got his seal of approval. He slipped off his coat and abandoned it on a sofa. 

"I'm back!" he sang as he entered the kitchen. Gladly, everyone was waiting for him. "And I come bringing gifts."

"Couldn't wait til Christmas?" Phil asked him, eyebrow raised. He knew what was going on here, cheeky bastard. 

"This one couldn't, no," Wilbur responded. He flourished the envelope he had brought home and continued, "This one is very time sensitive. You see, Tubbo, actually, asked me for a favor. So this was really his idea, but, just consider it a present from all of us."

Tommy stared at the envelope in front of him. He eyed Wilbur suspiciously, but picked up the envelope nonetheless. Wilbur grinned excitedly, ignoring Phil's snicker beside him. Tommy slipped the Christmas card from the envelope and his mouth dropped open. Wilbur knew what was on it. It was the photo he'd taken of them in the park. The text didn't have any family name, but instead said 'The Sleepy Bois'. It was cheesy and every single comparable word, but Wilbur didn't quite care. 

"Tubbo told you about that?" Tommy asked weakly. "The Christmas card thing?" 

"Yeah," Wilbur admitted, a bit surprised by how small his voice was. 

He didn't comment on it when he saw Tommy's eyes get watery. He noticed Techno look away, frown on his face. He felt Phil's shoulders slump against his arm. The feeling of sadness was mutual between all of them. Wilbur stepped around the island to wrap Tommy in a hug. He felt Tommy's head lean against his arm.

"Thank you," Tommy whispered, voice wobbly. 

"It's not a problem," Wilbur told him. 

Before they all ventured to the living room, Phil took the card and stuck it up on the fridge. Wilbur watched Tommy stare at it for a moment, then turn to Wilbur with a content smile on his face. And Wilbur smiled back. He loved that smile, and was glad to know he was the one that caused it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry parentsinnit I keep dunking on you


	6. Something Bad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I wonder what this lady's high school crush's name is," Techno began. "Brad? Dylan?"
> 
> "Charlie?" Tommy supplied. 
> 
> "It's Samuel, actually, so, fuck off," Wilbur interjected, flicking a piece of popcorn at Tommy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know man

"Wil, I hate you so much right now," Techno stated loudly. 

Tommy hummed his agreement and nodded. He'd taken residence on Techno's couch tonight. He'd pressed himself against Techno's side and still felt the rush of happiness from when he wasn't forced to move. Wilbur didn't seem to care about Techno's hatred, just gave them a half-assed finger and pressed play on the movie. 

Against Techno and Tommy's wishes, they were watching one of those cheesy, copycat Christmas movies tonight. Tommy showed his hatred by sitting with Techno. Usually, he'd be at least on the same sofa as Wilbur. Tonight was a special occasion. He was feeling bold. And sleepy. He could tell he'd be asleep thirty minutes into the movie night. Until that time came, he planned to steal popcorn from Techno's bowl and help him ruthlessly make fun of the film. 

"I wonder what this lady's high school crush's name is," Techno began. "Brad? Dylan?"

"Charlie?" Tommy supplied. 

"It's Samuel, actually, so, fuck off," Wilbur interjected, flicking a piece of popcorn at Tommy.

He plucked the popcorn off his blanket and popped it in his mouth nonchalantly. Wil gave him a look before focusing back on the movie. Tommy cackled and covered the lower half of his face with his blanket to hide his grin. The movie continued on like that, with Techno and him pointing out the obvious plot direction and Wil and sometimes Phil shooting a comment back. 

As Tommy's jokes became more disjointed and his words began to slur together, Techno hesitantly started to run his fingers through Tommy's hair. He melted into the touch, already feeling warm and content. He felt Techno relax, getting used to the motion and the intimacy. 

"He really is like a cat," he heard Techno mumble.

"What did I say," Wilbur responded knowingly. "Now you can't move. Sorry Techno."

"I'll live," Techno said quietly. 

Tommy smiled, nestling against Techno's side and letting sleep take him. 

-

Techno was the only one still awake after the movie ended. Well, sort of awake. He kept slipping between the sleep and waking worlds. Wilbur and Phil were conked out on the other couch, and Tommy had been asleep for 80% of the movie. Wilbur was right, he couldn't move. He didn't want to risk waking Tommy, he looked way too peaceful for that. He felt his own eyelids drooping. Sleep sounded nice. 

As he started to drift off again, he felt shifting at his side. His eyes slowly peeled open. Tommy was shuffling restlessly against him. Techno rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up, squinting to see in the dark. The light from the kitchen was soft, but it was enough to let Techno see Tommy's face. He suddenly felt very awake. 

Tommy looked like he was in the middle of a nightmare. He looked like he was in anguish. Techno hesitated for a second, debating whether or not he should do anything. He carefully raised his hands and gently placed them on Tommy's shoulders. The teen shot up, suddenly awake, scrambling away from Techno to the other end of the sofa. He barely made a noise, Techno could hardly hear his shallow breaths. He wasn't sure if Tommy was actually breathing at all. His eyes were wild, and Techno could practically feel how fast his heart was beating. 

"Tommy?" he whispered. 

Tommy didn't respond. His eyes scanned Techno twice over. Then he dove under his blanket. Techno froze, waiting to see if he did anything else. The only thing denoting he was still awake and breathing was a soft sob from under the blanket. Techno really didn't know how to handle this. 

He reached out and put a hand on Tommy's shoulder. He shuddered at the touch, and Techno nearly pulled away, but a trembling hand shot out from beneath the blanket and grabbed his hand. He saw Tommy poke out from beneath blanket and grip Techno's hand in both of his. 

"Nightmare?" Techno asked softly. 

Tommy nodded, splaying Techno's fingers between his hands, as if making sure he was real. There were tears smudged at the corners of his eyes. Techno shifted on the couch. He held open his arms and let out an _oof_ as Tommy collided against his chest. He felt hot tears stain the collar of his shirt. Tommy shook in his arms, little sobs rattling his chest. 

"I didn't think the movie was that bad," Techno mumbled. 

Tommy choked out a laugh. It was more of a mangled sob, but Techno understood the intent. He rubbed circles into Tommy's back, relaxing as he slowly stopped shaking and his breathing evened out.

"You-You guys wouldn't leave me, would you?" Tommy questioned quietly. 

He sounded so worried and scared. It made Techno's chest hurt. Tommy got to his feelings so easily. Techno couldn't help from holding Tommy a little tighter. 

"Never, Tommy," he promised. "Not me, not Wil, not Phil, not ever. We love you so much." 

Tommy's breath stuttered as he inhaled. He nodded slowly into Techno's chest and said hoarsely, "Okay... thank you." 

"We'll always be here for you, Toms," Techno told him softly. He snickered and joked, "We'll be your Samuel in your small hometown." 

Tommy sniffled. "That's disgusting." 

Techno hummed dismissively in response. He adjusted himself briefly, so he was laying down on the couch with Tommy on his chest. He didn't mind the weight. Feeling his figurative little brother's breathing after the fairly terrifying experience they'd just had was comforting. He could tell Tommy had fallen back asleep in minutes. Techno sighed. He'd probably be sore in the morning. He tucked Tommy's head beneath his chin and shut his eyes. It didn't matter. Tommy was comfortable and safe in his arms. That did matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's barely even the prompt


	7. Light Rest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur jostled Tommy with his foot again. "Are you going to help me, yes or no?" 
> 
> "Fine, fine, I'm getting up," Tommy groaned, pushing himself onto his elbows before joining Wilbur on the pillows. 
> 
> "Thank you," Wilbur said happily. "Hold this, please."
> 
> He handed Tommy the string of lights and got a conforming hum as a response. Tommy had been quiet all day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm still working on these I swear please be patient with me

Wilbur kicked his foot out, lightly smacking Tommy in the side. The child groaned and shoved Wilbur's leg fruitlessly. They were in Wilbur's room, and Tommy was failing to help Wilbur with the one task he asked for help with. He was stringing extra lights around his room. His room was in the basement, so it made everything feel a bit more cozy. He was standing on his pillows, draping lights across Command hooks that Tommy was supposed to be helping him put up. 

Wilbur jostled Tommy with his foot again. "Are you going to help me, yes or no?" 

"Fine, fine, I'm getting up," Tommy groaned, pushing himself onto his elbows before joining Wilbur on the pillows. 

"Thank you," Wilbur said happily. "Hold this, please."

He handed Tommy the string of lights and got a conforming hum as a response. Tommy had been quiet all day. Wilbur'd first noticed it during Tommy's stream. He'd barely even tried to grab everyone's attention when the people in call talked over him. It almost felt like the others had talked more than Tommy in his own stream. Even with bits and the roleplay, Tommy usually had multiple loud and shouty moments. Wilbur wasn't sure there was any today. 

He always found himself worrying about Tommy. The kid never properly took care of himself when he was alone, so Wilbur was worried something was going on that he considered 'normal'. With Phil and Techno around, it was easier to make sure he was eating and sleeping regularly, but Wilbur could never really be sure what thoughts were running through his head. He hoped Tommy would talk to him if something was really wrong. 

"These lights really make your room less boring," Tommy commented. 

Wilbur snorted. "Thank you, Tommy, appreciate the compliment."

"It'll spice up the background," he added, "make streams more interesting."

Wilbur took a shot in the dark.

"How is streaming lately?" he asked, trying to feign being casual. 

Tommy shrugged. "Normal. You watch me everyday, nothing's very different." 

"I guess that's true," he conceded. He set the strand on another hook before saying, "You were quieter on stream today. I'm not saying that you have to be loud, but, is something on your mind?" 

Tommy huffed. He reached over Wilbur's arms and strung up the last bit of lights. Then he dropped back onto Wilbur's bed, pulling his knees to his chest. 

"Nothing important," he answered quietly. He absentmindedly picked at his arms when he said, "I've just been tired."

"You could take a break," Wilbur suggested, settling in next to him. "Nobody would judge you for it." 

"I'll be alright," Tommy insisted tiredly. "It's just a little more exhausting lately." 

Wilbur slouched, the last thing he wanted was for Tommy to overwork himself. His eyes drifted to his desk in the corner. Currently, it was occupied by Tommy's set up. Both monitors were off and his water bottle was abandoned off to the side. The trash bin by the desk was filled with different wrappers and Coke cans. Suddenly, his room was a much more lived in space. Even if he didn't like the reason why. 

There was blatant exhaustion in Tommy's eyes. He looked like he was falling asleep where he sat. He was hunched over his knees, neck bent to tuck his head between his chest and his legs. It looked really uncomfortable, honestly. His posture was shit. Wilbur understood why, though. Burnout was a pain in the ass. If Tommy was really feeling it bad right now, he was probably miserable.

"Y'know Tommy," Wilbur started, leaning back against his headboard, "not everything is about streaming."

Tommy lifted his head to gaze at him quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"You spend so much of your time working on your videos and making sure your streams are guaranteed to entertain-" Wilbur elaborated, tapping his fingers against his crossed ankles, "-and you're fantastic, don't get me wrong, you're an incredibly talented kid--but it's not all you should think about. You don't have to constantly create content for people to be interested in you." 

Tommy looked baffled. He stretched out his legs and fully turned on Wilbur. "What are you saying?" 

"That it's okay to take breaks," Wilbur told him gently, not wanting to upset him. "I know you think you don't need one and that you'll be okay, but I don't want you to keep saying that until you crash."

Tommy frowned. The lights on the wall behind them were the only source of light in the room. They coated everything in a dull white glow. The spots of light twinkled in Tommy's eyes. He bit his lip and turned away, digging his fingers into his arms.

"I don't wanna stop," Tommy argued miserably. "I'm having a good time, genuinely, its just... Ugh, I don't know! It just... takes up more of my energy for some reason recently. I don't know."

"That's what I'm talking about, Tommy. That's burnout," Wilbur explained. He watched Tommy tense, watched as his fingers dug deeper into his arms. Wil leaned forward, pushing his hand into Tommy's and holding it tight. "It's not bad. You're not losing your passion for streaming or anything, you're just tired. You need a break." 

"But-" Tommy started, voice wavering. 

"I promise it'll help. I swear," Wilbur told him, tugging on Tommy's hand slightly. When Tommy looked up at him, Wilbur brushed the hair from his forehead. He let his hand drop from Tommy's head and asked, "Do you want to come to the office with me tomorrow? You can be on my stream, but you won't have to do anything yourself." 

Tommy looked hesitant, still unconvinced. His hand squeezed Wilbur's, and Wilbur returned the gesture. He glanced up briefly, quickly meeting Wil's eye before looking away again. Tommy swallowed.

"Okay," he agreed quietly. "I'll-I'll take a day and... y'know." 

Wilbur smiled and released a sigh, extremely relieved. He rubbed his thumb across the back of Tommy's hand soothingly.

"Okay," he said gently. "Thank you." 

Tommy only nodded. His eyes flickered from his hands to the desk, unease clear. Wilbur couldn't stand it. He pulled Tommy down, letting his head rest on his chest. Tommy went rigid for a moment before melting into the familiar touch. Wilbur kept Tommy's hand clutched in his, using his other hand to naturally comb through Tommy's hair. 

"Not everything is bright lights and thousands of people," Wilbur mumbled. "Some things are just Christmas lights and people you love." 

Tommy's eyes were shut already, and he only got a hum as a response. Wil didn't mind. He unfurled his legs and got comfortable, ready to stay for a while. He felt Tommy's steady breathing against his chest. He was glad he could convince him to take even one day off. He carefully uncurled his fingers from Tommy's. He grabbed his phone and sent a message. 

**WilburSoot** _7:37 PM_

_I'm stuck_

_I can't move_

_The child has fallen asleep_

**Technoblade** _7:37 PM_

_lol_

**Philza** _7:38 PM_

_see you tomorrow_

Wilbur huffed a laugh and abandoned his phone on his bedside table. He pushed the hair out of his eyes and easily slipped his hand back into Tommy's. It instinctively took hold, and Wilbur couldn't help but smile. He was happy to be Tommy's human pillow. If he could show the kid he was loved and cared for in any way, he'd do it. 

Wilbur let his eyes close, ready to sleep in the comforting glow of spare Christmas lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The streams have been too sad please just let me write comfort


	8. Muffled Noise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One thing Tommy didn't expect to do over Christmas was go to a party. Or, he didn't expect party to come to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm doing my best!! Also working on more Pogtopia Breakdown so :))

One thing Tommy didn't expect to do over Christmas was go to a party. Or, he didn't expect party to come to him. He hadn't been to very many before. He'd hung out with large groups of people, but nothing like an actual party. It was even less exciting when you didn't know anyone there.

Well, he did know _some_ people. This was still Wilbur's house. Phil and Techno hadn't just up and left. When Wil had invited some his friends over to hang out, that number had somehow doubled. Now there was a multitude of people here that Tommy didn't know. It wasn't that he was averse to making friends, it was that he hadn't prepared himself to meet more than three new people tonight. 

He knew he wasn't the only one uncomfortable. Techno was obviously incredibly overwhelmed. Now that there was music pumping throughout the house and more than two conversations happening at once, he really wasn't feeling it. Tommy noticed how he got up when Phil did to 'refill his drink'. He hadn't gone very far from his side since. 

Tommy didn't have much room to poke fun at this topic, though. He'd basically been stuck to Wilbur's side all night. There was no way he could deny that the man was a comforting presence, so when he felt his anxiety start to rise, he acted pretty much on instinct. Wilbur never minded, no matter how much Tommy worried he did. Especially in this sudden party setting, he couldn't help but feel like he was just being annoying. 

That's why on his walk back from the bathroom, Tommy skipped the door to the living room and headed downstairs. If there was anywhere to hide, it was there. 

He trotted down the carpeted stairs, glad for how little sound it made. He slipped into Wilbur's room, shutting the door as quietly as possible behind him. He could've sat in the bean bag by the door or in the desk chair, but he crossed the large floor space to fall face first onto Wil's bed. 

He was thinking about it again. His lack of normal. The people easily chatting and interacting upstairs were a strange reminder. He could look at chat scrolling by so fast he couldn't read it and know he was being watched by hundreds of thousands of people and not feel an inkling of self-consciousness, but standing face to face with someone intimidated him to no end. He had no idea what to do with his long arms and bony hands. He always said the first thing that came to mind and said it without thinking first. He always embarrassed himself and he knew he never made a good first impression. Everyone upstairs probably thought he was annoying and were glad he was gone.

He heard the door creak open behind him and scrambled into a sitting position. He felt heat rush to his cheeks and hoped to god whoever was there didn't see him moping. He stopped holding his breath when he saw it was Techno who had opened the door.

Techno chuckled and moved to drop onto the bed next to him. "Party too much for you?" 

"Yeah," Tommy admitted pathetically, biting the inside of his cheek. "After streaming things can kinda get... overwhelming." 

"I get that," Techno responded with a hum. "I, for one, also find this situation incredibly overwhelming."

"No shit, sometimes you're easier to read than Wil," Tommy commented, a smirk growing on his face, "and he sucks at hiding that shit." 

"Can't you be nice to me when I'm trying to comfort you?" Techno asked, bumping his shoulder into Tommy's. "I'm tryin' to be a good guy, here."

Tommy's mind blanked. "What? Comfort me?"

"You're not very good at hiding your emotions either, Tommy. I can tell when somethin's goin' on in your head," Techno told him, poking him in the middle of his forehead and grinning when he went cross-eyed. 

"Nothing's going on in my head," Tommy argued, shoving Techno's finger out of his face. 

Techno shrugged and leaned back on his hands. "I'm choosing to not believe you, but you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." 

Tommy pouted, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at the floor. Christmas tunes thumped through the floor. He could hear people's voices and their laughter. Something in his chest twinged. This sucked. He could've been up there, having a good time like nearly everyone else, but instead he was hiding in Wilbur's room. 

"I don't understand why everything about me is so different," he said, digging his fingers into his arms. "Why can't I just be normal like everyone else?"

Techno scoffed, and Tommy spun to look at him. The smile on his face was fond, not mocking like he expected.

"Nothing about you is normal, Tommy," Techno stated. He hurried on when Tommy slouched, "I don't mean that in a bad way. You're literally famous Tommy, and you're sixteen. You're still in high school--college--whatever, and millions of people follow your content. You're loud and say whatever's on your mind but that's just your personality. Your humor's straightforward and you don't pull your punches and some people don't understand it, but that's fine. You attract a lot of attention, Tommy, wanting a break from it all isn't unnatural." 

Techno had his own way with words. It wasn't as graceful as Wilbur or as careful as Phil, but it still packed meaning nonetheless. He spoke in a way where you knew he meant what he said, even if the emotion wasn't as inflicted as it could be. He laughed when he was nervous and cut himself off when he felt like what he was saying didn't make sense, but Tommy understood it every time. 

"It's not weird?" Tommy asked quietly. 

"Not at all," Techno answered, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. He held his chin in his hand and glanced up at Tommy. "You're just mentally and emotionally exhausted. You need to chill, Toms. Like, actually." 

Tommy laughed at that. He agreed lightly, "Like, actually." 

"Don't mock me," Techno chuckled, reaching to ruffle Tommy's hair. 

Tommy, still laughing, grabbed hold of Techno's wrist. Instead of pushing it away, he tugged it around his shoulders and held it there, shoving himself against Techno's side. He felt Techno lean into him slightly.

"Wanna just chill for a while?" he asked.

Tommy nodded. "Yeah, yeah I do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> th... they... big brother Techno...


	9. Warm Hearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was ready for a chill night in. He should have known better. He shut his car door and climbed the steps, opening the front door and immediately being met with sound. He slipped off his shoes and coat, listening to the ruckus deeper in the house. 
> 
> "Tommy, we weren't done with the spoon!" Techno's voice chided. 
> 
> "Then you should've said so sooner!" Tommy defended himself, followed quickly by the clatter of said spoon in the sink. 
> 
> "Just grab another one," Phil laughed. "It's not a big deal. Unless you absolutely hate cleaning spoons, for some reason." 
> 
> "I don't trust spoons. If we use too many they'll team up and overpower us," Techno responded. 
> 
> "What the fuck is wrong with you," Tommy stated simply, followed by a cackle from Phil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmnnnmmn themb

Wilbur yawned, rubbing sleepiness from his eyes while waiting at a red light. He was always tired after streams, and he'd had another late one today. He was starting to hate the drive to and from his office, all things considered. His wrist still hurt a bit. He was kind of glad he wouldn't be streaming there for much longer. Though he would hate to see his bittersweet goodbye to Edington Solicitors and Mark Robinson Lawyer Solutions, moving to a new office was probably for the best. 

He was ready for a chill night in. He should have known better. He shut his car door and climbed the steps, opening the front door and immediately being met with sound. He slipped off his shoes and coat, listening to the ruckus deeper in the house. 

"Tommy, we weren't done with the spoon!" Techno's voice chided. 

"Then you should've said so sooner!" Tommy defended himself, followed quickly by the clatter of said spoon in the sink. 

"Just grab another one," Phil laughed. "It's not a big deal. Unless you absolutely hate cleaning spoons, for some reason." 

"I don't trust spoons. If we use too many they'll team up and overpower us," Techno responded. 

"What the fuck is wrong with you," Tommy stated simply, followed by a cackle from Phil. 

Wilbur trudged into his kitchen to find it an absolute mess. Techno was sat at the counter, stamping a gingerbread man cookie cutter into dough and laying them on cookie sheets. Tommy had grabbed the mentioned other spoon and was stirring more dough in a metal bowl. Phil was returning to his side, cling wrap in hand. The island was covered in flour, abandoned ingredients were shoved onto the side counters, and his oven was left on, assumedly for the cookies Techno was in the process of making. 

"Hey Wilbur!" Tommy yelled at the same time Phil said, "Welcome back." 

"Hi," Wilbur greeted with a chuckle, sitting himself beside Techno. "Gingerbread cookies, is it?" 

"Me and Techno made that batch yesterday," Phil told him, pointing to the cut outs, "but apparently Tommy's never made any, so we're making more."

"Tommy's a shit baker," Techno commented. 

"I am not!" Tommy exclaimed, stopping his stirring to shove the spoon in Techno's face. 

"You couldn't crack an egg without getting shell in it," Phil supplied.

"So I have things I can work on, I'm not a shit baker!" 

Wilbur snorted, picking up a second cookie cutter and helping Techno. He listened to Tommy prattle on about his cooking experience while he slid the first batch of cookies in the oven. He helped Phil with the dishes while Techno showed Tommy how to roll out dough. His sleepiness had nearly faded, energy boosted in the presence of his friends. He always ended up laughing at something and anything with them. It was nice to just hang out after a stream. 

When the first cookies were done and the island was clean, Phil pulled some frosting bags from the fridge and they got to work. Well, Wilbur didn't, he leaned back against the counter beside the oven and let the others decorate. Phil had very standard gingerbread men designs. Techno mostly did too, but some of them were slightly unnatural. Tommy, however, was exceedingly skilled in created monsters.

"What on god's green earth is that?" Phil asked, leaning back in slight horror.

"The devil," Tommy answered evilly. His cookie had spiky lines on the arms and legs. The eyes had angry eyebrows, an evil grin, and tiny and messy horns on the head. 

"Do I dare ask why," Wilbur wondered, looking up from scrolling through his phone. 

"I only live for chaos," Tommy announced, picking up his finished product and holding it aloft. 

"This is better than, like, property damage, or somethin'," Techno shrugged. 

"I swear to god, if Tommy causes property damage while I am legally responsible for him, I will throttle him," Wilbur threatened

"I'm literally right here." 

"So you heard me. Don't think I won't." 

"That's illegal. That's illegal, right?" Tommy turned to Phil and Techno for support. 

"Probably," Phil supplied unhelpfully. 

"No one has to know," Wilbur whispered with a grin.

"Christ, he's gonna kill me," Tommy laughed. 

Tommy screamed as Wilbur launched himself off the counter. He got to Tommy before he could stand up and wrapped his arms around his neck. He wrestled with Tommy for a second as the teen tried to pry off Wilbur's arms, both of them laughing. 

"Get off, you long-armed asshole!" Tommy giggled. 

Wilbur shifted to more or less just hug Tommy and pressed his cheek to the top of his head. He mumbled, "No, I'm good here." 

"Whatever, prick," Tommy grumbled. Wilbur could hear the smile in his voice. 

Tommy stopped trying to escape his grasp and settled into Wilbur's arms. If he wasn't standing in the middle of his kitchen, Wil would have fallen asleep right there. The kitchen was warm from the heat of the oven. The scent of spices wafted through the air. Phil and Techno continued to decorate cookies while Wilbur held Tommy, who had given up on frosting to just be Wil's pillow. Wilbur knew they couldn't live like this forever, but he'd miss it dearly once it ended. He felt like he had a lot to consider, but those thoughts could wait. He had other priorities at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> s. sometimes you just gotta hug your pseudo little brother and long for this always. sometimes it just be like that.


	10. Naughty or Nice?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He scrolled through Twitter, like he hated to do once every month, liking and commenting on his friends' tweets. He heard Tommy's phone vibrate and watched him check the alert and type a response. His own phone vibrated, and he cackled at the notification. 
> 
> "Really? You'll get off that couch and strangle me?" Wilbur questioned. 
> 
> Tommy glared at him over his phone. "Don't try me, big man." 
> 
> "I have a sneaking suspicion that I would win," Wilbur replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe how far behind I am. More family dynamic for the soul

Tonight, Wilbur had decided to lay on his living room floor instead of one of the available couches. Tommy was sprawled on one of them, staring noncommittally at the Christmas movie on the TV. Phil and Techno were in the kitchen, ordering from a nearby pizza place. This was the chill night Wilbur longed for. He hadn't streamed today, but Tommy had, and he was ready to relax with the boys. 

He scrolled through Twitter, like he hated to do once every month, liking and commenting on his friends' tweets. He heard Tommy's phone vibrate and watched him check the alert and type a response. His own phone vibrated, and he cackled at the notification. 

"Really? You'll get off that couch and strangle me?" Wilbur questioned. 

Tommy glared at him over his phone. "Don't try me, big man." 

"I have a sneaking suspicion that I would win," Wilbur replied. He sat up slightly and called, "Techno, who would win in a fight, me or Tommy?"

"You, any day," Techno answered instantly. 

"Yeah, Tommy's not winning that one," Phil's voice followed.

Tommy groaned, falling back against the couch. "I am always bullied in this house."

"It's out of love," Wilbur insisted, blowing a kiss Tommy chose to ignore. He laid back down, hand tossed over his forehead dramatically. "I'm hurt, Tommy."

"Good," he responded, grin tilting his lips. 

Wilbur sighed happily. This is what he wanted. This is why he missed chill nights. He relished the comforting feeling of enjoying peace and quiet with family. He could hear Phil and Techno talking in the kitchen, slightly muffled behind the TV's low volume. A Christmas commercial promoting kids' good behavior, and the classic threat of the naughty list. He had a silent distaste for these types of things. 

Tommy's phone vibrated again, and this time Wilbur didn't know why. Tommy lifted his phone to his face and frowned. Wilbur watched his grip tighten before he sighed shakily. Tommy dropped his phone off the side of the couch and covered his face with his hands. What was trying to be feigned off as tiredness was clearly something else.

"Tommy, what's wrong?" Wilbur asked, sitting up and reaching for the remote. He muted the TV as Tommy shrugged awkwardly. 

"It's-It's dumb. It's completely stupid, actually," Tommy forced out, hands pressed into his eyes. 

"Tommy look at me." 

His hands fell from his face, revealing red eyes and flushed cheeks. He was holding back tears and Wilbur hated how easy it was to tell. He opened his arms and motioned for Tommy to come to him. Tommy slumped off the couch, grabbing his phone as he went and dropping at Wilbur's side.

"Come here," Wilbur mumbled, pulling him into a hug. He felt Tommy melt into his side. The boy's arms were limp in his lap, phone barely hanging on his fingertips. Wil slowly ran his fingers through the hair on the back of Tommy's head. He asked quietly, "What happened?" 

In lieu of a response, Tommy clicked on his phone. Wilbur froze, his mind going blank as he read the message notification. He forced himself back into moving as the message sunk in and he truly started to comprehend it. 

**Mum** _8:35 PM_

_This trip is going to last longer than we first expected, we'll be gone a bit longer. Try not to be a nuisance, okay?_

It was awful. It made Wilbur feel angry and sick to his stomach at the same time. He slipped Tommy's phone from his hands and clicked off the screen, flipping it face down on the coffee table. Tommy released a shaky breath and curled a bit tighter on himself. 

"She's wrong, y'know," Wilbur told him simply, pushing open one of Tommy's hands and drawing circles in his palm. "She's never been right about you." 

"That I'm not a pain in the ass?" Tommy mumbled, staring dejectedly at Wilbur's hand. 

"You never are," Wilbur promised. He meant it. He always meant it. "I love talking to you and being around you. I know Phil and Techno feel the same."

"I know, I know, it's just-" Tommy sighed, pushing the butt of his hands into his eyes, "it's just hard to believe when my own parents don't think so." 

Wilbur slipped his fingers between Tommy's, pulling his hands away from his face and holding them tight. He let one go to brush the hair out of Tommy's face. The sad eyes looking up at him made his heart hurt. 

"Never believe anything they say about you," Wilbur urged fiercely, squeezing Tommy's hands tightly. "You are a wonderful human being. You are so talented and your success shows it. Don't doubt yourself, Tommy, please." 

Tommy squeezed Wilbur's hands so strongly it hurt. He nodded stiffly, and Wilbur pulled him back into an embrace. Tommy worried so much and felt the entire weight of his popularity like the world on his shoulders. Wilbur would do anything to ease the load. 

They stayed on the floor, listening to the TV Wil had unmuted. When the doorbell rang with their delivery, neither of them moved. Phil walked by, sparing them a glance and a smile. Wilbur waved him off silently, not wanting to disturb Tommy nestled in the crook of his arm. Being able to see his steady breathing put him at ease. 

Techno and Phil joined them in the living room later, carrying paper plates piled with pizza. Wilbur roused Tommy then, smiling at his reluctance to move. 

"You're such a kid sometimes," Wilbur told him lovingly, ruffling his hair as they sat around the coffee table. 

"I'll have you know, I am a growing man," Tommy stated, shuffling to sit next to the table. He held a hand in front of his mouth and yawned, pulling a plate in front of him with the other. "Sleep does wonders for the body, Big Dubs." 

"Did you get enough sleep as a child, Phil? Is that why you're so short?" Techno asked with a grin. 

"You three are just giants, I am a completely normal height," Phil answered.

"You didn't answer the question."

"I don't have to."

"Can't believe you didn't sleep, Phil. You're setting a bad example," Tommy said with his mouth full. 

Wilbur cackled, dropping his pizza back on his plate so he didn't choke on it. They talked through dinner, creating an evening full of laughter and light. Wilbur knocked his shoulder against Tommy's during a lull in the conversation. He matched the blindingly bright smile flashed at him. That's what he liked to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a type of thing I like to write


	11. Home to Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things matter more than others. Tommy cares a lot about a few specific things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M DONE WITH THE COLLEGE SEMESTER YALL READY FOR UPDATES???

Christmas wasn't always lonely for Tommy. Back when he was little, his parents would stay and have Christmas with him. They made cookies, hung up every decoration they had, and always decorated their tree together. They walked around the city, seeing the lights and experiencing the holiday cheer firsthand. 

One Christmas, Tommy's mother had bought them all customizable ornaments. Tommy thought it was one of the funnest things in the world. He'd covered one in all of his favorite colors, another in stencils of reindeer and snowflakes, and one dedicated solely to his family. His mum and dad painted the other two in the package, with much more grace than their son's, but that was expected. 

Tommy remembered all of their ornaments hanging in a bundle. His dad hauled him up on his shoulders and let him hang them all at the very top. They did the same thing with those ornaments each year until Tommy was too big to fit on his father's shoulders. He used a stepladder instead, until he was tall enough to reach the top of the tree without any help. Those years were when he started to be left alone. 

He still put up the tree. He hung up ornaments and placed the star at the top. He set those five family ornaments in the highest branches. There was no one there to enjoy them. Tommy avoided the living room once the tree was in it. He felt the tree's empty holiday spirit each time he passed by to get food in the kitchen. It was hard to feel festive alone in an empty house.

He'd already put the tree up by the day Wilbur came to get him. He was dragging his bag downstairs when he saw Wilbur standing in the middle of the living room, staring up at the Christmas tree. He left his luggage in the hallway and slowly moved to stand next to him. The tree's lights were the only ones on in the room, casting everything in a warm glow. 

"You have a nice tree," Wilbur said, eyes drifting across the different ornaments. 

"It's okay," Tommy shrugged. 

"Did your parents help? Or did they leave already?" Wilbur asked. Tommy could tell he looked over at him, but he didn't meet his gaze.

"They were gone already," Tommy answered honestly. He was already alone. He was already living this sad existence. "I put it up every year, whether they're here or not. Keep up that holiday spirit." 

Wilbur hummed. Tommy couldn't tell what emotion was in it. Probably sadness. Maybe pity. 

He walked up to the tree. Tommy stiffened slightly, watching as he pointed up at the cluster of bulbs at the top. The family ornaments. 

"Did you make these, Tommy?" he questioned cheerily, smile looking ready to tease him.

Tommy dug his nails into his arms. He didn't feel like explaining why he bothered to hang those up. He saw Wilbur's smile falter at his hesitation and hurried to answer anyway. 

"Y-Yeah, me and my parents did. A long while ago," Tommy told him. His grip on his arms got a bit tighter as he said, "Back when they bothered to stay." 

Wilbur's expression hardened. Tommy continued to ramble.

"It's-It's not a big deal. It's like tradition, y'know? Family tradition..." Tommy stopped, realizing what he said didn't make any of this better. 

The expectance in the air was thick. The silence was so pure Tommy could hear Phil and Techno upstairs getting ready to move his setup. Wilbur turned away from him, long arms reaching up easily to the tree's highest branches. He slipped the three ornaments clearly made by Tommy off their perches. 

Tommy sputtered, "W-What are you doing?" 

"It'd be a shame to leave them here," Wilbur stated. "May as well put them on a tree that'll actually be seen."

Tommy felt the emotional well in his chest nearly run over. What Wilbur did wasn't anything spectacular. It was a basic act of kindness, really. It was more than Tommy expected around the holidays. As Wilbur pressed the three bulbs into his hands with a warm smile, Tommy thought he could've cried. This meager act of trying to feel some sort of normalcy and connection to his family was recognized. Wilbur always knew what he was thinking, somehow. 

From his place on Wilbur's couch, tucked into the corner between the armrest and cushion, he could see the three ornaments. They sat high near the star, just like they always did. Now, they looked like they belonged. In this room filled with people and life and actual Christmas spirit, they looked perfect. Tommy didn't feel upset like he usually expected to. He just felt happy, like this was right. Like this was how things were supposed to be. 

Wilbur dropped onto the seat next to him, tossing an arm over Tommy and on top of the couch cushion. Tommy reached over, digging a hand into the bowl of popcorn on Wilbur's lap. Wilbur jostled Tommy's leg in retaliation, but nothing more. Tommy giggled and dropped some of the kernels in his mouth. 

This was home. This is what home was supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm. yeah.


	12. Sincerely, Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy knew Eret had been arranging a secret santa on the Dream SMP for a while. He'd tossed his name in, despite his original resignation about it. Tubbo convinced him to join, in the end. He insisted it would be fun, and Tommy couldn't not trust him. So when he saw Eret was typing in their DMs, he felt a little a nervous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this one, even though it's short

Tommy knew Eret had been arranging a secret santa on the Dream SMP for a while. He'd tossed his name in, despite his original resignation about it. Tubbo convinced him to join, in the end. He insisted it would be fun, and Tommy couldn't not trust him. So when he saw Eret was typing in their DMs, he felt a little a nervous.

The name he'd received was Niki Nihachu. And he had no idea what to do with that information. They all agreed to get each other gifts on the server, so he only had so many options. He was in call with Tubbo on his phone. He and Wilbur were in the older man's room, talking about their secret santas and their ideas. Tommy and Tubbo were on the SMP, Wilbur was laying on his stomach on his bed, facing Tommy. 

"I got Big Q, so I might just do something funny with maps and leave him some food," Tubbo said with a laugh. 

"He'd probably be happy with that," Wilbur supplied. "I got Phil, somehow, so I can do pretty much whatever I want." 

"Lucky bitch," Tommy grumbled. "What the hell am I supposed to do for Niki?" 

"She'll appreciate it as long as she can tell you tried," Wilbur told him. 

"So don't half ass it, Tommy, and you'll be fine," Tubbo added. 

"I didn't wanna make it a _joke,_ it's Niki! I don't wanna give Niki a joke present," Tommy whined. 

"How considerate of you," Tubbo teased. 

"Yeah, yeah, funny, but what do I _do?_ " 

"Her bakery kinda got ransacked, yeah? Maybe you could restock it," Wilbur suggested. 

Tommy hummed. It wasn't a bad idea. He didn't know if it was enough, though. A sudden exclamation from Tubbo made him jump. He looked over his shoulder to see Wilbur's head snap up, startled. 

"Something wrong, Tubbo?" Wil asked. 

"I got an idea!" he answered, to which Tommy and Wilbur both deflated.

"What is it, then?" Tommy asked. 

Tubbo's idea was better than any ideas Tommy had. It got the Wilbur seal of approval, so they decided this was the best course of action. They started gathering materials and, once they collected all they needed, decided when they'd get on to do it. Tommy was convinced that this was the best course of action. He was gonna be the best secret santa on the whole damn SMP. 

-

When the day came to debut their gifts, Tommy and Tubbo lead Niki to her bakery. Tommy could feel his hand starting to sweat against his mouse, and quickly rubbed it off on his pants. He shouldn't be this nervous. Tubbo and Wilbur both agreed the present was great. He had nothing to fear.

"And... tada!" Tubbo sang as their avatars came upon the bakery. 

"Oh, wow!" Niki gasped. "This is amazing!"

Tommy and Tubbo had taken the time to decorate Niki's bakery for the holidays. They'd covered the place in leaves and snow and different colored wool for ornaments. It was a smaller version of Ranboo's home. They'd done up the inside and outside, even leaving a little tree with the rest of Tommy's gift underneath. 

Tommy watched as Niki opened the chest. He'd filled it with wheat, eggs, sugar, and a few stacks of pumpkin pie Sam helped him make. He'd also left a book and quill with a note he was too embarrassed to even think about. He felt relief flood him as she reacted with a happy gasp.

"Aww, Tommy, this is so sweet!" she admired as she read the note he'd left.

"Well, it was mostly Tubbo's idea. He helped with a lot of it," Tommy deflected. 

"You're the one who got all the ingredients and left the note, big man. Don't downplay what you did!" Tubbo countered, punching his avatar harmlessly. 

"Really, Tommy, this is wonderful," Niki told him. "Thank you so much." 

Tommy felt his face flush. "Y-Yeah, no problem. Wanted to make it count, y'know?" 

"I can tell you worked hard," Niki responded encouragingly. Her avatar moved to an enderchest in a corner, and Tommy felt a burst of pride as he watched it open. "I think I'll keep this safe. I don't want to forget this one bit."

Tommy felt the grin spreading across his face. He was the best damn gift-giver on this entire SMP.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the big sister pride yknow


	13. A Good Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was destined to be the best day ever, in Tommy's eyes. They were heading back to the market today, but under completely different pretenses than last time. This time, Tommy could barely stop fidgeting in his seat. Wilbur'd playfully kicked his feet multiple times in an attempt to distract him, but none were successful. He was much too excited to be distracted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay updates two days in a row!!

This was destined to be the best day ever, in Tommy's eyes. They were heading back to the market today, but under completely different pretenses than last time. This time, Tommy could barely stop fidgeting in his seat. Wilbur'd playfully kicked his feet multiple times in an attempt to distract him, but none were successful. He was much too excited to be distracted. 

They were meeting Tubbo at the market today. Upon throwing out the idea of going into the city to meet up, his parents decided the whole family would go. It was quite the occasion, really. Tommy'd met Tubbo's family before, so he didn't think it would be too bad. With so many people, it was bound to be some amount of fun. 

By the time they parked the car, Tommy was practically vibrating. He felt Wilbur's hand on his shoulder and appreciated the reaffirming squeeze it offered. He glanced up at Wil, meeting his content smile with an excited grin. The market was in sight, now, and Tommy was scouring the crowd for familiar faces. He heard Tubbo's voice before he saw him. 

"Tommy!" Tubbo called.

He twisted just in time to see Tubbo run into him. A laugh bubbled out of him as he quickly moved to return the fierce embrace. It wasn't that crazy, but it felt like a miracle to see Tubbo in person again. They separated as Tubbo's family caught up. They were engaged in conversation with Phil and Wilbur, having never met the older men before. Tommy tossed his arm across Tubbo's shoulders.

"It's good to see you, Big T," he grinned. 

"Right back at you," Tubbo replied. He sighed and looped his arm around Tommy's. "I've been waiting for this all week." 

"It's felt like the longest week of my life, let me tell you," Tommy agreed. 

A hand pressed down on his head and ruffled his hair. He snatched it out of the air and tugged, making Techno ram into his side. Tommy grinned, having forced another person into their little chain. 

"Tubbo, I think it's about time you met Technoblade," Tommy stated, nodding to the man on his opposite side.

"The Blade!" Tubbo cheered, leaning in front of Tommy to look at Techno. "How's it going, man?"

"Hey Tubbo," Techno greeted with a curt nod, "it's good. You two done with the touching reunion and ready to go?"

"Absolutely!" Tubbo cheered.

"How dare you make fun of my sentimentality," Tommy threatened. 

The others walked by them then. Phil was still chatting with Tubbo's parents, and Wilbur stole Techno in one swift motion. Lani passed by on Tubbo's side and quickly tugged on her brother's arm. 

"Let's go, you two," she urged.

"Alright, alright, we're coming!" Tubbo complied, dragging a stumbling Tommy behind him. 

The market was different during the day. The lights strung between the stalls weren't on and you could barely see the glow of the lights on the large tree at the market's center. The air felt calmer, more settled and reserved for peaceful times. The alleys were emptier, too. Tommy was somewhat thankful for it. 

There was a petting zoo set up in the market square today, and Tommy had followed an entranced Tubbo right to it. They had somehow gotten reindeer into this square, and Tommy couldn't understand how Tubbo could approach them so easily. Tommy stood back a few feet, watching as Tubbo happily pet a reindeer's face. 

"How are you doing that?" Tommy asked, staring with his arms crossed. 

Tubbo glanced over his shoulder before returning his attention to the reindeer. "Doing what? Petting a reindeer?"

"Yeah!" Tommy said incredulously. He had his eyes on it's antlers when he exclaimed, "It's massive!" 

"They're just gentle giants, Tommy, you don't need to be scared," Tubbo told him. "Come on, they're not gonna bite." 

Tommy hummed uncertainly. Tubbo rolled his eyes and moved towards him. He didn't exactly like it, but he didn't resist either when Tubbo grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the reindeer. He cringed a bit as his hand was lifted. Tubbo gave his hand a reaffirming squeeze and placed it against the reindeer's face. 

And it was fine. Tommy felt his lips quirk into a smile. He ran his hand along the soft fur of it's snout. The reindeer huffed contently, and Tommy realized he had no reason to be uneasy. Tubbo smiled, proud of his work, and reached out to scratch beneath the animal's chin. 

"See? Nothing to worry about," he declared. 

"Yeah. They're rather nice, actually," Tommy decided, tilting his head slightly.

"And you didn't believe me."

"Oh, shut it, Tubbo."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmmmm.... they.....


	14. Crack in the Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When entrusting kids with things that pop and make loud noises, you need to be very careful. With Tommy, there is no such thing as careful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's a short one, but I like it nonetheless!

Tommy dropped onto the couch, tossing his legs across multiple laps nonchalantly. Wilbur, on the opposite end of the sofa, grabbed his ankle and pulled. Tommy yelped as he slid down, pushing himself up on his arms to give Wilbur a scowl. While Wil cackled, Tubbo, who was sat in between them, patted his leg comfortingly. Instead of being civil, he lightly kicked Wil in the stomach. 

"Stop being gremlins," Phil interjected before more sibling-fighting could ensue. 

Tommy let out a wheeze as something dropped on his stomach. He picked up the small package as similar tubes were given to Tubbo and Wilbur. He grinned and pulled himself back into a sitting position. They were the Christmas crackers they bought at the market. 

Once their day was done, Tubbo came back with them to Wilbur's place instead of joining his family at a hotel. Tommy really thought this had to he the best day ever. 

"Tommy, fight me for whats inside," Wilbur challenged, shoving one end of his cracker in Tommy's face. 

"You're on," Tommy agreed, grabbing the end offered to him.

"Oh god," Tubbo said with a nervous laugh. He slid down in his seat with a smile, trying to hide beneath Tommy's legs.

"Please don't damage the child we have to watch for one night," Techno begged. 

"It'll be fine!" Wilbur insisted. "Ok, 3, 2, 1, pull!" 

Tommy yelped, flying backwards as he tugged with all his might. He nearly tumbled off the couch, because Wilbur hadn't pulled at all. He'd let go of his end and watched Tommy fumble. 

"You prick!" Tommy exclaimed while Wilbur and Tubbo laughed away.

"Can't you two just open them normally?" Phil asked, cringing as he popped open his own cracker.

"I'm very satisfied with my way, I think," Wilbur answered through giggles. 

"Shut up, bitch," Tommy grumbled, throwing the cracker back in his face. He scooted back further and offered one end of his cracker to Tubbo. "Tubbo, actually do it with me."

"Oh, yes," Tubbo agreed instantly, eager now that he was part of the action. They each tightly grabbed one end of the cracker.

"Alright, on 3," Tommy stated. "1, 2, 3!"

A loud _CRACK_ echoed throughout the living room. Tommy laughed as Tubbo fell back onto Wilbur. Tubbo held up his end of the cracker, and his eyes lit up.

"I won!" he shouted, sitting bolt upright. "Look!" 

True to the claim, a folded swath of paper was stuck to Tubbo's half of the cracker. More interested in the prize than sulking about losing, Tommy watched as Tubbo unfolded the paper. It was a paper crown, very flimsy, nothing intended to last, but crackers never held any amazing prizes, anyway. Tubbo looked at the red paper crown for a second before reaching up to place it on Tommy's head. 

"Red's your color, not mine," he said happily. 

Tommy felt his face flush with embarrassment. Why did Tubbo have to be so nice? 

"I can't believe you farm aw's in real life, too," Techno commented. "That's so cringe." 

"What the hell?!" Tommy exclaimed, very much layering on the offense. The others laughed around him, and he couldn't stop himself from smiling. 

Not even five minutes later, Tommy had managed to sneak behind Techno and pop a cracker right behind his head. He was nearly strangled to death, but Phil had the skill of being able to defuse any situation. They read the shitty jokes inside each cracker and ate more sweets than was probably healthy. Tommy laughed more than he had in a long time. 

That night, once all the wrappers were tossed away and all the unveiled trinkets and prizes were piled on the coffee table, they all headed to bed. As Wilbur was leaving the living room, he tossed a blanket over the two teens asleep on the sofa. Tommy and Tubbo were shoulder to shoulder, Tommy's head resting on top of Tubbo's. They were nestled into the corner of the couch, and Wilbur could hardly resist snapping a photo. Wilbur flicked off the lights with a smile on his face that stayed until he fell asleep.


	15. Cheese With That Whine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title of the stream was _COOKING WITH PHILZA MINECRAFT and Techno and Tommy I guess._ There was barely any cooking, and Tommy could only sit and watch. Techno would not go on camera unless it was of his own volition. Phil was doing most of the cooking while Wilbur did a lot of talking to chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS/HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!! I love writing these prompts with all my heart and I hope I can help make your day a happy one with these updates! Even though the prompts are supposed to be done by now (OOPS!), I'll still keep going. I have a lot of ideas for the upcoming days, and I hope you guys enjoy this continuation of the little plot I've made.

Tommy wasn't sure how excited he was for today's events. Wilbur'd had his last stream in the office the other day, and the end was pretty glorious. He'd punched his PC to end the stream. Tommy was pretty sure the whole thing would go down as legend. Either way, it had meant Tommy once again moved his setup to another room and let Wilbur have his room back. Since Wilbur was streaming from his own home, now, he'd decided to do something new. 

The title of the stream was _COOKING WITH PHILZA MINECRAFT and Techno and Tommy I guess._ There was barely any cooking, and Tommy could only sit and watch. Techno would not go on camera unless it was of his own volition. Phil was doing most of the cooking while Wilbur did a lot of talking to chat. 

Tommy sat next to Techno at the kitchen island, watching chat scroll by on Tommy's phone. Wilbur was leaning over a laptop, reading subs and donations while Phil sliced an orange in the background. 

"Why aren't I helping? What do you mean, I am totally helping!" Wilbur argued with his viewers. 

"He's just not allowed to hold a knife," Phil said, flashing the knife he was using above his shoulder. 

"You wouldn't let me touch the knife," Wilbur countered, spinning on Phil. 

"You almost cut your finger off cutting potatoes the other day," Techno interjected. "The bandage is still on your finger." 

"For the record, I was very distracted," Wil supplied, holding up said bandaged finger.

"Then you shouldn't be handling a knife when distracted!" Phil reasoned.

Tommy was only sort of listening. He chuckled at jokes and commented sometimes, but his attention wasn't fully on the stream. He'd already streamed today, so most of his energy was gone. But that was just an excuse. He was really locked on chat today. He watched their messages fly by to see what they were saying about him today. To be fair, Wilbur's chat was a mess, with the whole of SBI in one room, but certain comments managed to stick out to Tommy. 

_is tommy even there???_

_Techno's talking more than Tommy lmao_

_yeah he's barely said a thing_

_is Tommy sick or something? why is he so quiet??_

Tommy sighed, spotting each comment of the same caliber as it passed. That's all he was to them, the loud and abrasive kid pestering three adults. The camera saw a lot of things, but it didn't see everything. Despite all the times Tommy was quiet and careful on his stream or other people's, the viewers were here for loud Tommy. They wanted the entertaining side of him. Without it, he was worthless to them. 

One message zoomed past just slow enough for Tommy to read it. He actually laughed at a thought from chat. 

"Someone just said, 'are you really gonna let Tommy drink?'" he read mid-laugh. He announced to the camera, "No, dickheads, why do you think I'm back here?" 

"Can you imagine how awful that would be?" Techno wondered. 

Wilbur's gaze shifted to chat while he spoke, "Technically, he could, but I'm not promoting underage drinking to everyone where it's not legal, so no. Drink responsibly, final thought." 

"And legally! And legally," Phil added quickly. 

"Yes, and legally," Wilbur agreed absentmindedly. His whole focus was on the laptop screen. Tommy couldn't understand Wilbur. It's like he had a sixth sense just for feeling when Tommy was upset and what at. The chat continued to talk about him. 

_ngl, drunk tommy would be funny_

_most of you are minors, you don't know shit about this stuff_

_just let him have some_

_give him some, maybe he'll be louder_

Tommy grimaced. They would go that far just to get him to be loud? It wasn't a very heartwarming thought. It had the opposite effect, really. He really wanted to just leave and not show his face for a few days. Maybe they would forget about him. Maybe he could start over and just flip his entire personality on it's head. Maybe then people would like him for who he was, not the front he put up for content. 

He didn't notice he was pouting. He only realized he must have been when he felt Techno leaning over his shoulder, eyeing chat with a glare Tommy would be scared of if it were aimed at him. Wilbur was staring at the laptop screen with a similar muted anger and disappointment. 

"Why don't you give Tommy a break, huh, chat? He's not your little entertainment monkey," Wilbur chided, clearly annoyed, turning around to watch Phil dump the ingredients into the pot of wine on the stove. 

Tommy fumbled, "No, Wil, it's alright-" 

"If he doesn't wanna talk, he doesn't wanna talk," Techno continued the thought, leaning away from Tommy. "Simple as that." 

Tommy cringed, hearing the protectiveness in their words. He was tougher than this. He didn't them telling off chat when he dealt with it everyday. He could ignore it on stream, he could ignore it off stream, too. 

"Don't be assholes," Phil scolded, dropping various utensils and things in the sink to wash. He glanced over his shoulder and asked, "Does someone want to help me with these, or am I doing the dishes by myself, too?" 

Wilbur opened his mouth to object but was stopped by Techno speaking up, "I'll help, since we can't trust Wil with knives." 

"A man cuts one finger two times and suddenly it's all he's known for!" Wilbur shouted, throwing his hands in the air.

"I still don't understand how you managed that," Phil said with a laugh. 

Tommy whined, "Hey!" and reached after his phone as it was snatched from his hand. Techno shut off the screen and shoved it in his sweatshirt pocket as he stood. Tommy's mouth dropped open as he watched Techno skirt the island and get in view of the camera to help Phil with the dishes. He could only imagine the whirlpool of chaos chat was descending into. 

"Like, seriously, shouldn't you have nimbler fingers than that? Playing guitar and all?" Techno questioned, leaning against the counter. He looked to Wil while he waited for Phil to start the dishes. 

"Listen, both of those things require a certain level of attention, and neither of those things I can do while laughing my ass off," Wilbur defended himself. 

Tommy sighed and crossed his arms on the island. He rested his chin in the center and watched his friends bicker and banter across the counter. Tommy knew what Techno had just did for him. He'd gone on camera so the attention shifted away from him. He hated that Techno felt like he had to do that, but appreciated it more than words could say. Knowing Techno would go to such lengths for him made him feel softer than he liked. The same went for Wilbur, for calling out his own viewers, and Phil for supporting him. Having to meet such a standard every time he was on camera was exhausting. He'd been feeling the pressure more than usual lately. He'd gladly take this reprieve. 

It was easy to feel comfortable, in Wilbur's warm house and listening to his friends happily chat around him. He nearly forgot the stream entirely. He could have fallen asleep right at the table, but he was disturbed before he could do so. Someone gently moved his arms to wrap them around their neck and picked him up. Tommy groaned, annoyed, and buried his face in their neck. 

"You're fallin' asleep, Tommy, I'm moving you," Techno whispered, laughing gently. 

"Oh my god, Phil, look," Wilbur urged quietly, voice pitched higher in admiration. 

"Ooh my god," Phil said in a breath. 

Tommy didn't have the energy to shoot a comment back, so he just let Techno carry him from the kitchen. 

He could just barely hear Wilbur announce, "We're the only people who got to see that and I've never felt more lucky in my life."

He was carefully deposited on the couch, and it was only seconds before Techno was sat beside him. Tommy nestled himself against Techno's side. He loved how warm Techno was. He was the best space heater around. 

"Thanks... for earlier," Tommy mumbled. 

"No problem, Toms," Techno replied softly. He had a lot more emotion in his voice recently, Tommy realized. He wondered why that was. "If you ever need anything, you know where to find me." 

Tommy hummed in response, nodding his head against Techno's chest. He didn't hear it as Wilbur called their cooking stream a success and ended a bit earlier than planned. He didn't feel the blanket thrown over him and Techno. They were both already asleep by then, and Wilbur just tipsy enough to actually take a photo this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmmnmm sbi family dynamic make us all feel warm


	16. Wrapped Up Tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy'd bought gifts for Wilbur, Phil, and Techno very early in the month. As soon as he learned they were all staying together, he'd decided. It'd been a while since he thought about the gifts he'd gotten, but now that they were wrapping them, his original worry was at the forefront of his mind. Were they good?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mm yes eight more chapters to write lets GO

Tommy sucked at wrapping presents. That's why he sat back and let Phil do the hard work while he applied name tags and bows. He offered up tape and scissors when asked, but really wasn't much help in the long run. Phil wouldn't comment on it, and Wilbur and Techno weren't there to make fun. They'd went to the store to buy dinner, so Tommy was pretty much free until they got back. 

He laid on the sofa, staring at the ceiling and listening to Phil work. Surprising, the house was quiet. Without two of it's four current occupants, it felt kind of lonely. They'd be back soon enough, but that didn't make it any less boring. They were wrapping Wilbur and Techno's presents, so it was technically better that they were gone. 

"I'm bored," Tommy announced, flipping onto his side to watch Phil. 

"You could help," he offered.

"Don't know how to wrap shit."

"I could teach you." 

Tommy considered it. He slid off the couch and sat across from Phil on the floor. Phil smiled and looked back to the mess on the floor. There was a box in the middle of the paper he had rolled out. 

Phil pat the box and said, "You want to make sure the top is facing down, so when the person unwraps it, what they need to open is right there." 

Tommy nodded, squinting his eyes in focus. This looked like it was gonna be a lot of details to remember. 

"When you fold the paper over top, it only needs to cover half of the box. Then you can use these squares to measure how many you need on the other side," Phil explained, tracing his finger across the lines on the underside of the paper. 

Tommy hummed in acknowledgement. His attention was faltering, and he ended up just watching Phil's hands more than listening. Tommy'd never wrapped a present for anyone before. Either his parents would do it for him or it was shoved in a bag and hidden with tissue paper. He usually didn't have presents to give, when he thought about it. His college friends didn't exchange gifts and his parents weren't really... present, a lot of the time. 

Tommy'd bought gifts for Wilbur, Phil, and Techno very early in the month. As soon as he learned they were all staying together, he'd decided. It'd been a while since he thought about the gifts he'd gotten, but now that they were wrapping them, his original worry was at the forefront of his mind. Were they good?

He thought long and hard into the night about what he would get. He remembered laying in bed for hours, rolling around anxiously as he worried if his best friends would like their gifts. Especially now, after everything that's happened and all they'd done for him, Tommy wanted to make sure they felt properly appreciated. Phil was finishing his wrapping demonstration when another thought crossed Tommy's mind: he couldn't remember if his parents ever liked anything he gave them. 

There were certain things they loved to see from Tommy. They loved to see him get a grade above a B. They loved it when he was quiet when they went to bed. They loved it when he helped pay the bills. Their love was, Tommy realized suddenly, conditional. 

"Hey Phil," he said, shocked to hear his voice waver. 

Phil looked up quickly. He looked worried. Tommy didn't like that. He set down the finished present and asked, "What's up, Tommy?" 

"You guys... Do you think they'll like my gifts?" Tommy asked nervously. 

Phil's expression softened. "Of course they will. You wouldn't stop asking me that question even when you were pressing 'confirm order'. I know they're going to like them." 

Tommy sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He'd already consulted Phil with this problem. He didn't know what kind of reassurance he was looking for. 

"Yeah, but... what if they don't? What if it's not enough?" Tommy asked, picking at the hem of his sweatpants. "You guys do so much for me and-and if you don't even like what I got than what's the point?"

"We're not going to suddenly stop being friends with you if we didn't like your gift," Phil told him. His hand reached out and gently took Tommy's. "We do all those things because we care about you, Tommy. Nothing's going to change that." 

Tommy swallowed, feeling that familiar prick at the corner of his eyes. "You won't be mad? Or disappointed?" 

Something seemed to click in Phil's brain. His expression and posture changed instantly. He shoved everything aside so he could sit next to Tommy and wrap an arm around his shoulders. 

"We'd never," Phil insisted, giving him a gentle squeeze. "We know how much thought you put into this and how much you've worried about it. No matter what presents you got or if you even wrapped it yourself, we'll love it. It's from you and your heart, and that's what matters."

Tommy choked up. Every word of encouragement from Phil, Wilbur, and Techno always made him feel like things would be okay. He hung onto them tight, but things always managed to slip past their defenses and make him feel so unsure. He struggled knowing what to believe a lot of the time, but there were always certain things he could latch onto and know were true.

He knew Wilbur would greet him with a hug or a ruffle of his hair when he got home. He knew Techno would have some story to tell or a sharp quip to make him laugh. He knew Phil would always answer him when he asked for advice or just listen when he wanted to talk. He knew he was Tommy. He knew he was also Tommyinnit. He knew there may be differences between those two people, but there were people who loved both sides of him--who knew both sides of him. Those people were constant. They supported him through thick and thin. They were a point to which he could return when he went too far and needed a taste of real connection. When it all came to be too much, Tommy knew he had people to fall back on, to reassure him that it would all be okay. 

Tommy felt lucky. He got to spend Christmas with some of the best people he'd ever met. He didn't want to waste it all being upset and anxious over things. His friends always told him he didn't have to worry, that their love for him wasn't going anywhere. Tommy knew his love for them was never going to dull, so maybe he should take their word for what they feel. Because he knew for sure when he heard the front door open later, a grin instantly spread across his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again I am so sorry to mother and fatherinnit I'm sure you're lovely people dhskd


	17. One on One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Tommy!" Wilbur called from downstairs. "C'mere! I have something to show you!" 
> 
> Tommy groaned loudly, hoping Wilbur heard it. He slipped off the sofa anyway and trudged down the hallway. Christmas was drawing nearer, and Tommy (with Wilbur's encouragement) was taking a couple days off before the holiday rush. He'd spent the better part of the day doing absolutely nothing. He'd like to keep it that way, thank you very much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knew this is what I had to do for the mistletoe prompt there was only one option

"Tommy!" Wilbur called from downstairs. "C'mere! I have something to show you!" 

Tommy groaned loudly, hoping Wilbur heard it. He slipped off the sofa anyway and trudged down the hallway. Christmas was drawing nearer, and Tommy (with Wilbur's encouragement) was taking a couple days off before the holiday rush. He'd spent the better part of the day doing absolutely nothing. He'd like to keep it that way, thank you very much.

He trotted downstairs, listening to his socked feet thump against the carpeted stairs. He didn't see Wilbur anywhere in the landing, so he assumed he must be in his room.

"What do you _want,_ Wil?" Tommy groaned, tilting his head back dramatically. 

He stopped in his tracks. Something was hanging from the ceiling. A small sprig of leaves with little white bulbs hung above him. Tommy stared momentarily, mouth agape. It clicked in his brain: mistletoe. What did he just walk into?

Tommy screeched, feeling arms latch around his abdomen. He hurriedly tried to pry his hands between his torso and the arms. He heard Wilbur's cackle behind him and felt a considerable amount of tension leave him. 

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Tommy shouted with a surprised laugh, gripping Wilbur's arms tighter than intended. 

"Fighting you," Wilbur answered, also laughing. "You are my mistlefoe, Tommyinnit." 

Tommy grinned. He could fight Wilbur under the mistletoe. And he would. He ripped Wilbur's arms from his waist and grappled with him. He met Wilbur's playful gaze with eager enthusiasm. 

"You're on, Wilbur Soot," he countered, bloodthirsty.

Their standoff ended there and became a battle for who could get the upper hand. Before Tommy realized it, they were wrestling on the floor. He had Wilbur pinned on the carpet, but that brief feeling of triumph was quickly snuffed. His legs were knocked out from underneath him and he fell face first to the floor. He rolled onto his back and was tugged backwards. Wilbur had him in his grip, though it was more reminiscent of a hug than anything. His arms were wrapped tightly around Tommy's chest, pinning his arms to his sides. Wilbur pulled him against his chest and laughed cheerily. 

"I win!" he declared. "You can't escape me now." 

"Oh, that's what you think!" Tommy replied, wriggling in Wilbur's arms. He held tight, despite what Tommy thought of his physical capability. 

Footsteps on the stairs made both of them stop and look up. Phil and Techno had appeared, the latter gazing over the former's shoulder. Tommy felt his face flush. This was suddenly incredibly embarrassing, being bear-hugged by his pseudo older brother on the floor. 

"What's all the ruckus about?" Phil asked, eyebrow raised. 

"Wilbur lead me into a trap! He-" Tommy was cut off by a hand shooting up and covering his mouth. 

"I've beaten Tommy in a completely fair and balanced fight. The mistletoe called us to battle!" Wilbur ranted. 

Techno hummed, "I like that much better than the usual tradition." 

Strategically, Tommy licked Wilbur's hand covering his mouth. Wilbur yelped and pulled his hand away, staring at it in disgust. 

"Ew, what the fuck! Did you just lick my hand?!" he exclaimed, reaching to forcefully wipe it on Tommy's pants.

"You jumped me! I will not be silenced!" Tommy raged, fighting Wil's grip again.

He was only squeezed tighter as a response. He sighed dramatically, giving up and relinquishing himself to Wilbur's embrace. Phil covered his mouth with a hand, smothering a laugh. Tommy built up the will to shove out a weak middle finger that Phil returned halfheartedly, a smile betraying any ill intent. Techno leaned over the railing, lazy smile on his face. 

"I think Wil just takes any excuse to give you a hug," he said. 

Tommy felt Wilbur shrug. "I'll take what I can get." 

Tommy felt his face get hot, but with his arms pinned to his sides, he had no chance to hide it. He hung his head instead, willing himself to chill out. He argued when Wilbur accused him of being embarrassed, but he didn't actually mind. He was getting used to it at this point. He knew they did all of this out of love, even if it felt like being pampered by a mother. Tommy really wasn't used to that feeling, but he was slowly learning to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur: I will throw hands (lovingly)


	18. One Day I'll Live in La Jolla

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The house was understandably quiet. When he paused what he was doing and just listened, he felt like he could hear the air move throughout the house. There was a serene level of quiet that Wilbur appreciated, even if he really should have been asleep. His life was a stream of constant stimulation, moments of peace were nice when they came around. 
> 
> Thanks to that quiet, Wilbur heard when a quick set of footsteps stamped down the stairs. He sat up, waiting to see what came next... but nothing happened. He listened, hoping to catch anything. He heard something quiet and muffled, which didn't say a lot considering it was coming through a door. 
> 
> He heard a sharp intake of breath, and decided he should probably get out of bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I was mean with this one

Wilbur yawned and rubbed the tiredness from his eyes. He was laying in bed, the only light coming from his phone screen. Nothing particularly interesting was happening in Discord, but he kept cycling through servers and watching conversations in different channels anyways. The time at the top of his screen said 3:22 AM. He had no reason to be up this late. He decided to blame it on late-stream insomnia. 

The house was understandably quiet. When he paused what he was doing and just listened, he felt like he could hear the air move throughout the house. There was a serene level of quiet that Wilbur appreciated, even if he really should have been asleep. His life was a stream of constant stimulation, moments of peace were nice when they came around. 

Thanks to that quiet, Wilbur heard when a quick set of footsteps stamped down the stairs. He sat up, waiting to see what came next... but nothing happened. He listened, hoping to catch anything. He heard something quiet and muffled, which didn't say a lot considering it was coming through a door. 

He heard a sharp intake of breath, and decided he should probably get out of bed. 

Wilbur hurried to his door, but hesitated when he got there. He didn't exactly know what he was walking into, but he knew what wasn't on the other side of the door. He knew it wasn't Phil or Techno, because if they really needed him, they would barge right in. He knew if there was some kind of intruder in his house, they'd be more careful, and probably would have snuck in already. There weren't too many options left after that. 

Wilbur slowly opened his door, but hurried his process as he clearly heard what was coming from the other side. It was crying. 

Tommy was on the other side of his door. He was wiping fruitlessly at tears streaking down his cheeks. He jumped as Wilbur opened the door, backing up a few steps. He hiccuped and quickly shoved his hands in his sweatshirt pocket. He hung his head as he spoke. 

"I-I'm sorry, Wil, I didn't mean to wake you up," Tommy stammered quickly. "I-I can just, go back upstairs-"

"No, Tommy, wait," Wilbur stopped him. He reached his hand out, but stopped halfway before he could touch Tommy. This felt different than normal. Why did this feel so different? He settled for taking a step outside his doorway. "I was already awake, it's okay. What's-What's wrong?" 

Tommy shook his head forcefully, still not looking up. He insisted, "It's nothing, really, you-you can just go to bed. You don't have to worry about me, I'm just being a bitch."

"Hey, hey, slow down," Wilbur eased. He gently placed his hands on Tommy's shoulders. He leaned down slightly to try and see Tommy's face. He could only see tear drops falling from his nose. He spoke softly, "You're crying. You're upset, you came down here for a reason. Tell me what's wrong." 

Tommy sniffled. He limply wiped more tears from his face with his sweatshirt sleeve. He started, "I..." He swallowed, continued shakily, "You're not gonna leave me, are you?" 

Wilbur felt his breath catch in his throat. He exhaled a wavering, "Oh, Tommy." and pulled the teen to his chest. He felt hands tightly grip the back of his shirt. A small sob escaped Tommy, and Wilbur hated it. He kept one arm around Tommy's waist and guided him into his room. He closed the door behind them and made Tommy settle on his bed. Settled being curled against Wilbur's side and leaning against his bed's headboard while Tommy tried to regain control over his breathing. When his breaths stopped leaving him in shuddering gasps, Wilbur talked. 

"What made you think that I would ever leave you?" he asked quietly, running a hand up and down Tommy's arm. 

"Um, I-I had a, uh, a nightmare," Tommy admitted breathlessly. He pulled his knees closer to his chest. "I-I've had it before... It-It was just worse this time, I think." 

"Can you tell me about it?" Wilbur requested. 

Tommy clamped his mouth shut. Wilbur didn't want to push, but before he could take back his question, Tommy nodded. He dug his fingers into Wilbur's comforter and took a breath. 

"It barely even counts as a nightmare, really," he started, eyes flicking between his hands. "It's-It's just me, alone, in my room. I'm sitting at my desk, and I open Discord, and nothing's there. None of the servers I'm in or anything, no messages, nothing. And-And it makes me feel like I can't breathe, like-like there's no air for me to breathe. So I get up and I run downstairs, but my house empty. I don't even check all the rooms, I just know. And when I open the front door to see if there's anyone in the world at all, everything disappears. Then it's black and cold and I'm-and I'm alone." 

Tommy's voice broke. He dug his nails into his sleeves and bit his lip. Tears pushed from the corners of his eyes and he didn't bother to wipe them away. He hung his head lower and inhaled shakily. 

"Everyone left me," he mumbled through tears. "I-I don't know what I'd do if-if-"

A sob escaped Tommy, cutting himself off. Wilbur didn't hesitate in pulling Tommy close this time. He tucked Tommy's head under his chin and started to rub slow circles on his back. He felt two trembling hands latch into his shirt. It was heartbreaking. 

"It's okay," Wilbur whispered, feeling each sob that shook Tommy's shoulders. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna stay right here, alright? There's nothing that could make me leave. I'll never leave you alone, Tommy, I promise." 

He didn't expect a response, so he just held Tommy a little tighter when he didn't get one. It was almost like he was holding Tommy in his lap, like he was comforting a small child. Wilbur felt his throat tighten and bit back his own tears. Those would help nobody. 

He continued to mumble words of comfort, doing all he could just to make Tommy feel safe and calm down. As the sobs began to quiet to hiccups and stuttering breaths, a thought appeared in Wilbur's mind. He trusted his heart and went with it. 

_"You know it takes a lot to move me."_

The lyrics came out low and soft. He sang, keeping rhythm with his movements. He let his emotions overtake him and poured them out through song. 

_"So if you figure it out, tell me."_

As he continued, the grip on his shirt loosened. Tommy's breaths began to even out. The sniffles and hiccups died down by the end of the song, and Wilbur felt more tired than he had in very long time. 

He'd never sang anyone to sleep before. It didn't feel strange that Tommy was the first. 

Tommy was asleep against his chest. Tear tracks still stained his cheeks and his fingers were slightly tangled in Wilbur's shirt, but his eyes were closed and his breaths made his chest gently rise and fall. Wilbur sighed quietly. What he wouldn't give. 

He carefully adjusted Tommy and himself so they were laying down properly. Buried under the covers, Wilbur found himself curling around Tommy. The protective feeling that had been building in his chest had truly peaked tonight. He didn't think he'd be able to will himself to move from this position unless someone dragged him. He barely even had to think it. He would stay here until Tommy woke up, and let him know that he was safe. That he wasn't alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;-;


	19. It's Real

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was realizing something else, too. With each day that passed with Wilbur, Phil, and Techno, Tommy felt something settling deeper and deeper in his chest. It was a strange sort of assurance. Like things would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!! 2020 was super shit, so I'm glad we could all come together and find something we love in the MCYT community. I have all our favorite streamers to thank for making that happy chemical in my brain go brrr long enough so I could make it here. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Tommy was learning a lot recently. He was learning that his relationship with his parents wasn't that great. He was learning that more of him mattered than just his persona. He was learning that it was okay to take breaks. He was learning how to properly care about others and how to let others care about him. He was learning that it was okay to not be okay. 

He was realizing something else, too. With each day that passed with Wilbur, Phil, and Techno, Tommy felt something settling deeper and deeper in his chest. It was a strange sort of assurance. Like things would be okay. 

He felt that strong anchor in his chest as he woke up the next morning. There was a sense of security and warmth that Tommy was starting to become familiar with. His eyes blinked open, and he quickly remembered he wasn't on the couch in the living room. The first hint was how warm and comfortable he was. The second was the feeling of someone else's body next to his. Tommy remembered word vomiting about his nightmare and crying into Wilbur's chest. It left a sour taste in his mouth. Still, he wasn't keen on moving. He was nestled in the crook under Wilbur's arm. Tommy involuntarily tensed. One part of his brain knew Wilbur didn't care, the other part was insanely worried about bothering him. 

Wilbur was on his phone, texting someone with one hand. When he felt Tommy shift beside him, he glanced down. He smiled warmly, and Tommy felt a little bit better. He greeted quietly, "Morning, Tommy." 

"Morning, Wilbur," Tommy replied. He relaxed again, tilting his head into the touch as Wilbur started to run his fingers through his hair. 

"Sleep well?" he questioned. 

Tommy hummed agreeably. He asked, "Who ya texting?"

"Elodie," Wilbur answered, clicking off his phone and dropping it on his stomach, "working out some schedule stuff." 

Tommy's brain paused. Had he been talking to Elodie for a while? Was it not early?

"What time is it?" he asked, pushing himself up on his elbows.

"About 10:30," Wilbur told him. He tilted his head and said, "Why, do you have somewhere to be?" 

Tommy huffed and slumped again. "No, I just... How long have you been... awake?" 

"Barely half an hour," Wilbur responded simply. "If you're about to get all in your head about me having to wait for you to wake up, don't. I'm here cause I want to be." 

"Ah, um, okay," Tommy bumbled, blinking in disbelief. 

"Just wanted to make sure you were okay after... all that," Wilbur said hesitantly. 

Yeah. All that. Tommy shook his head.

"I'm-I'm alright. Really, this time," Tommy promised sheepishly. 

"Good," Wilbur sighed. He didn't move when he said, "Well, we do have to get up eventually." 

Tommy hummed again. "Not yet." 

Wilbur nodded. "Not yet." 

-

Tommy yelped as hands wrapped around his torso. He was hauled into someone's arms, which he quickly realized to be Techno's. He was about to head downstairs to stream, but was so rudely interrupted. He pried his hands between Techno's arms and promptly complained when his hands were snatched out of the air. 

"Hey! Let me go!" he whined, making Techno laugh. He gazed longingly for the stairs as he was dragged away towards the living room. "I was about to stream, y'know!"

"Good children eat before they stream so they have energy," Techno responded.

"You don't eat before you stream," Tommy countered. 

"I'm an adult and that's my own problem. You're a growing teenager and should have more than skin on your bones," Techno stated, shoving him into a chair at the kitchen island. 

Before Tommy could protest, Techno pulled a plate from the fridge and slid it in front of him. The turkey sandwich given to him was quickly followed by a banana pulled from a bunch on the counter. Tommy merely stared for a moment, blinking. Techno had done this for him. Technoblade. 

"Did-Did you make this?" Tommy asked stupidly. 

"Yes, Tommy, I am competent enough to make a sandwich," Techno chuckled. He waved his hand through the air and leaned against the counter. "Just eat, then you can go stream." 

"Alright, alright," Tommy sighed.

The sandwich wasn't terrible. It was actually pretty good. Tommy was still trying to process the train of events. Techno had stopped him before he got to stream, just to make sure he'd eaten beforehand. Tommy didn't usually eat before streams, unless it was just a quick snack like a granola bar or something. He had his water and a Coke and that was enough. No one had stopped him to made sure he'd eaten before. It happened a lot here, in Wilbur's house, with three of his best friends watching over him. 

As Tommy dashed from the kitchen, thanking Techno for the food, he felt that assurance in his chest grow a bit bigger. He slowed down once he reached the stairs, that feeling nagging at his mind. What was it supposed to mean?

-

Post-stream Tommy was very different than before and during-stream Tommy. He was much more mellowed out and less likely to try and be funny. His energy was drained, but in a good way. A way that made Tommy feel like he'd been successful that day. Tommy was really feeling it as he sat at the kitchen island for the third time today, stirring the hot chocolate Phil had made them. He watched the marshmallows spin helplessly as he twirled his spoon around inside the mug. Phil's mug of hot chocolate steamed untouched on the other side of the island, waiting for the man to be done putting dishes away. 

"What do you wanna do tonight, Tommy?" Phil asked between the banging of pots and pans. 

"I dunno," Tommy shrugged. He ladled out some marshmallows before dropping them back in. "Whatever's fine." 

It was quiet for a moment. Tommy looked up from his mug to see Phil lean his arms on the island. He held his mug of cocoa between his hands and smiled at him warmly. 

"How was your stream today?" he asked, and Tommy could tell he actually wanted to know. 

Tommy leaned back, tapping his nails against his cup. "It was good. One of the better ones lately, actually, I think." 

"That's great, mate. I take it Techno got you to eat, then?" 

"Oh, uh, yeah," Tommy answered slowly, ignoring how much he'd actually resisted. He rubbed the back of his neck restlessly. "No one's really done that for me before, at least, not until... this." 

Phil tilted his head curiously. "Done what?" 

"Uh... made sure I ate, before a stream," Tommy told him honestly. 

Phil rounded the island and ruffled his hair. "It's important to eat, Tommy, and we've realized you tend to forget to. We don't mind making sure you're not hungry. It'd be pretty mean if we didn't, don'tcha think?" 

"Yeah, I guess so," Tommy laughed awkwardly. His nails found their way into his arms again. "It's just been weird to get used to. Having so many people actively take care of me is-is kinda strange, if I'm being honest." 

Phil put a comforting hand on his shoulder and squeezed. "Just remember if you need anything, even once your parents get back and this all ends, we'll always be here." 

"Yeah," Tommy nodded, shaking away the slight tremble in his voice. "Thanks, Phil." 

"No problem, Toms," Phil smiled, giving his shoulders a quick squeeze. He nodded towards the living room and said, "C'mon, Wil and Techno are probably waiting." 

It wasn't very different. It was the same words he'd been told and promised over the past two weeks. They'd been repeated so often it was nearly impossible that Tommy could barely believe them. Every time he listened and took them in, he always ended up questioning whether or not it was true, whether they all meant what they said or not. Tommy feared they would take it all back one day, that they'd finally leave him behind and move on. Today, that fear was next to nothing. The words Phil said to him rooted in him. They rolled up and grew and stuck to the feeling of rightness that he'd come to recognize. 

As he followed Phil into the living room, he took in how he'd been living for the last two weeks. Wilbur let him stay in his home while his parents were gone, and invited Phil and Techno to stay to cheer Tommy up. He was streaming from Wilbur's basement, still able to do everything he needed to. Three people were making sure he was eating and sleeping. He'd been sleeping on the couch in Wilbur's living room, but damn was it a comfortable couch. He went to sleep each night in a room decorated for Christmas, knowing that if he needed anything, Phil was down the hall and Wilbur and Techno were downstairs. He loved it. He didn't want anything to change. He wanted to stay here and know that no matter how shitty life got, someone would be there to look after him. 

Tommy sat his mug on the coffee table and collapsed next to Wilbur. The man reflexively tossed an arm around his shoulders, and Tommy naturally nestled in. Tommy finally knew why he felt so secure here. The feeling was so foreign he couldn't figure it out. But now he had an idea. 

"Hey, Wil," he muttered. 

"What's up Tom?" Wilbur replied.

"This is what family is, yeah?" 

Wilbur's eyes widened, surprised at what just came out of Tommy's mouth. But Tommy meant it. Wholeheartedly. And Wilbur seemed to realize that. His expression softened, and he held Tommy a little bit closer, and his heart felt a little bit warmer. 

"Yeah, Tommy, yeah it is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If only you all could see the reactions I had to myself while writing this, I'm pretty sure I look like a psychopath


	20. No Need to Worry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years ago, Tommy woke up on Christmas morning at 11:00 AM. His house was empty. He was alone. He'd stayed up late wondering if his parents were having a good time without him. He stayed in bed until 12:00, hating his neighbors for having family to enjoy the holiday with. When he did finally head downstairs, the few presents that were under the tree hadn't been wrapped. He'd left them there as the boxes appeared on the doorstep. His house was cold on a day that was supposed to be warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun times here in the january christmas prompts fhdk

On Christmas morning, Tommy woke up to a hand roughly tousling his hair. He groaned and pulled his blanket over his head, snuggling deeper into the couch. He didn't care about presents right now. Right now, he cared about sleeping for another hour. 

"Wake up, Tomathy! Today's a special day!" Wilbur announced.

"I don't care!" Tommy moaned. "I wanna sleep." 

"Sleep later," Wilbur said simply, lifting Tommy's legs to sit on the other end of the couch. "We have presents to open." 

"And Phil's making waffles," Techno's voice rumbled. 

The mention of waffles did greatly tip the scales in their favor. Tommy pulled the blanket off his face, but still refused to sit up. 

"There he is," Wilbur sang quietly, patting his ankle happily. 

"Shut up," Tommy grumbled. 

Two years ago, Tommy woke up on Christmas morning at 11:00 AM. His house was empty. He was alone. He'd stayed up late wondering if his parents were having a good time without him. He stayed in bed until 12:00, hating his neighbors for having family to enjoy the holiday with. When he did finally head downstairs, the few presents that were under the tree hadn't been wrapped. He'd left them there as the boxes appeared on the doorstep. His house was cold on a day that was supposed to be warm. 

This morning, he'd been woken up by friends close enough to be family. There were wrapped presents under the tree. He was warm, inside and out. He didn't have to scour his kitchen for some sort of breakfast, because he could enjoy a full plate of fresh waffles with his friends over idle chat and story telling. Tommy knew how fucked up his life was two years ago. He knew what having a family was like now. He knew what he deserved and what he needed. 

Despite his initial shitty attitude, Tommy was actually very excited for this Christmas. He had gifts to open that were from other people. He'd had people to give gifts to. Finding himself restless as Phil and Wilbur carried dishes to the kitchen, Tommy sat in front of the tree, organizing the presents into piles for each person. Techno dropped to the floor beside him, watching as he worked. 

"That excited, huh?" Techno teased. 

"Yes, Techno, I am that excited," Tommy responded, shoving Techno's pile in front of him. "Believe it or not, I don't get to give physical gifts to people often." 

"Me neither," Techno told him. "It's a new experience for the both of us." 

Tommy paused, messing with his fingers idly. "It's kind of nerve-wracking." 

"I get that." 

Then the conversation was over. Wilbur and Phil returned from the kitchen and Tommy was way too delighted as they joined him and Techno on the floor. He pushed them their presents as Wilbur asked, "What's this about something being nerve-wracking?" 

When Tommy was silent, Techno answered, "Gift giving." 

Tommy hated how his cheeks flushed. As a kid, Tommy would get his parents small things from pop up shops at school or crafts they'd made for the express purpose of giving to their family. His parents had always loved them and put them somewhere for the whole house to see. When times changed and they were around less, the gift exchange process nearly stopped altogether. Tommy didn't remember the last gift he'd gotten for his parents of his own accord that they'd loved. The gratitude always felt flat. 

He didn't think this would be the same--he didn't. But he couldn't get rid of the small uneasiness that liked to stay inside him. He focused on his hands, fiddling with a ribbon on one of the gifts.

"Just... don't be mean about it, okay?" Tommy requested, glancing up to meet Wilbur's eyes. 

Wilbur took his hand and squeezed it assuringly. "I promise I won't." 

Tommy smiled and nodded. His heart warmed as Wilbur ruffled his hair again. Techno said he had an aura that made people want to do that. Phil agreed with the thought wholeheartedly. Wil had been the one to rub his head when Techno put the thought into the world. Tommy didn't know if that's what family did, but he hoped it was. 

He was back to smiling as they all opened their presents. He should have taken Phil's reassurance straight to heart instead of making them go through three different security checks first. They all loved the gifts Tommy had gotten them. He didn't think he'd ever seen a smile as large as the one Wilbur had when he saw Tommy had gotten him a personalized guitar pick. He accepted the hug given to him happily. 

This had to be the best Christmas ever, in the entire history of the world. Even if it wasn't, it was definitely Tommy's favorite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oohhh yeah. its all coming together.


	21. Letting Go is the Hardest Part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There were multiple things that had been bugging Wilbur these past few weeks. A lot of them he'd been avoiding thinking about. He didn't want to think about when Techno had to fly back to America or when Tommy's parents would come home and they'd have to take him back. He didn't want to think about when they'd return to talking through Discord and turn on their cameras and Wilbur would be able to see their faces but wouldn't be able to touch them. When he wouldn't be able to reach out and tousle Tommy's hair or flick Techno's forehead or nudge his shoulder against Phil's. Seeing them in person and living with them for these few weeks had made Wilbur realize how much he'd wanted to see them all, how much he always wanted to see them and talk to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mmn it's been building

Wilbur's house was a mess this Christmas day. There were still boxes and wrapping paper littered on the living room floor. Phil and Techno were in the kitchen, preparing all the food they'd made for lunch. Wilbur was briskly skirting the dinner table, setting plates and glasses while Tommy did silverware. He yelped as Tommy slid under his arms while he was pouring water in a glass to place a knife and fork. 

"Christ, Tommy!" Wilbur gasped. 

"Can't talk, need spoons," Tommy replied, zooming away towards the kitchen.

He ran past Phil, who pulled the plate of sliced turkey he was carrying out of Tommy's way. He called, "It's not a race, you can slow down." 

"Never-!" Tommy choked out as Techno grabbed the collar of his shirt, stopping him in his tracks as he tried to dash back into the dining room.

"Don't run with eating utensils. All of them are dangerous if shoved in the right place," Techno warned, walking past Tommy carrying a bowl of mashed potatoes. 

"That is so ominous. Why do you have to make me fear spoons?" Tommy wondered, walking to the table this time and placing the silverware. 

"Imagine being held at spoon-point in a restaurant," Wilbur commented.

"Depending on whose behind the spoon, I imagine it could be pretty scary," Phil replied.

"I'd be scared if Techno held me at spoon-point," Wilbur nodded. 

"You better be," Techno grinned. 

There were multiple things that had been bugging Wilbur these past few weeks. A lot of them he'd been avoiding thinking about. He didn't want to think about when Techno had to fly back to America or when Tommy's parents would come home and they'd have to take him back. He didn't want to think about when they'd return to talking through Discord and turn on their cameras and Wilbur would be able to see their faces but wouldn't be able to touch them. When he wouldn't be able to reach out and tousle Tommy's hair or flick Techno's forehead or nudge his shoulder against Phil's. Seeing them in person and living with them for these few weeks had made Wilbur realize how much he'd wanted to see them all, how much he always wanted to see them and talk to them. 

He'd been particularly hung up on Tommy's situation. It'd been on his mind for a bit, and he'd definitely been ignoring it for most of that time. To say he was concerned was an understatement. He was very much worried about how things would change. He had no clue what going back to their regular lives would feel like. These weeks made things feel secure. Watching over Tommy in his own home instead of having to worry about him being alone in a house half an hour away was very relieving. He learned a lot about Tommy when he wasn't hiding behind a screen or able to mute himself in a voice call. He wanted their connection to stay open. He didn't want things to go back to the way they were. 

As they all finally sat down for lunch, Wilbur felt it more than anything. He bit down on his fork hard to keep from choking as Tommy and Techno fought over the turkey plate. He smiled as Phil waved away Tommy's concerns when he spilled some water on the table. He argued with Tommy about the best sugar cookie shape as Techno lobbed an extra serving of mashed potatoes on the teen's plate. It felt like home. Like a real family. Once they were all separate again, what would happen to this feeling?

Wilbur didn’t want Tommy to return to a home where he wasn’t cared for. 

“This has to be the most scuffed family dinner I’ve ever had,” Phil remarked later, drying dishes as Wil handed them to him. 

“I know,” Wilbur chuckled. He smiled sadly. “I don’t think I’d have it any other way.”

Phil nodded. “Me neither.”

“This has been really great,” Wilbur whispered. “Phil, what if-what if things just get worse again? I know Tommy’s doing better but, I can’t just keep him here. What if when it’s over, it all goes back to what it used to be?”

He didn’t look at Phil, but could hear the exhale from his nose. He heard one plate clink against another and pulled his hand from the soapy water. He began to dry his hands as a hand fell on his shoulder. He wrang the rag in his hands anxiously, watching the suds as they dripped to the sink.

“It’s not that simple, and it’s definitely not easy, either. It’s not like things are going to change drastically once we all leave, but it is going to be harder to keep a close eye on him,” Phil told him honestly. Wilbur nodded, appreciating the hand rubbing his shoulder. “We’ll still be able to check up. If things do end up getting worse, we’re not far. We can step in, if need be.”

Wilbur exhaled. “Yeah.”

“All of us are just a message away. Hopefully he’ll still come to us when he needs us, even if we’re not just down the hall anymore,” Phil sighed. 

The loud sound of shattering glass behind them made Wilbur jump. He spun around to see Tommy, eyes watering, as he quickly kneeled down and began to pick up the shards. Wilbur’s heart jumped to his throat and he couldn’t stop himself from wheeling around the island instantly. Techno was closer and was already crouched beside Tommy, making him dump the glass from his hands. Wilbur could spot the small cuts on Tommy’s fingers as he knelt down.

“I-I’m sorry, Wil, I didn’t mean to,” Tommy was saying shakily, tears spilling from his eyes and his hands shaking. “I-I don’t know why I did that, that was stupid, I’m really sorry-”

“Shh, Tommy, it’s okay,” Wilbur whispered, gently looping his fingers around Tommy’s wrists and rubbing his thumbs along their undersides. “You’re fine. I’m not mad. What’s wrong, Tom?”

He watched Phil begin to sweep up the shards as Techno stood to probably go find a first aid kit. Wilbur shifted so he was between Tommy and the broken glass. He kept a solid hold of his wrists, making sure he wasn’t holding too tight. 

“I-I don’t wanna go,” Tommy stuttered through tears. His fingers uncurled and gripped Wilbur’s wrists tightly. “I don’t want- This-This has been so different than anything and-and it’s _nice_ Wil, it’s nice! I know I’m being annoying and I’ve broke your stupid fucking glass but-but… I don’t know! I-I like the feeling of having a family!”

Wilbur sank to the floor, listening to the clunk of glass hitting the bottom of the waste bin. He pulled Tommy across the hardwood floor, essentially sitting him in his lap. He kept the steady rhythm of his thumbs running along Tommy’s wrists, trying to calm him and keep him from hurting his hands more at the same time. He felt Tommy’s forehead press against the base of his neck, felt each breath leaving his body. 

“You’re fine, Toms. The glass doesn’t matter. I-I don’t want you to go, either,” Wilbur admitted, listening to his voice crack sourly. “I wish you and Phil and Techno could stay here forever but-but we can’t do this forever. You’ll never stop being my family, Tommy, no matter where we are. If you need me or Phil or Techno, just ask. We’ll answer and help in any way we can. And-And if things get bad you can always come here. You’re always welcome here.”

Tommy nodded, pressing himself closer to Wilbur’s chest. Phil lowered himself to the floor in front of Wil, reaching out to run a hand up and down Tommy’s back. Techno returned with the first aid kit, pulling cream and bandaids out of the box as he went. As Techno gently took Tommy’s hands to clean the small cuts on his fingers and palms, Wilbur wrapped his arms around Tommy’s abdomen, holding him close. He watched his fingers twitch as Techno covered each scrape carefully. Tommy stared at his hands, eyes watering and shoulders shaking. 

“I’m sorry,” Tommy mumbled again. “I ruined Christmas, didn’t I?”

Wilbur tugged down his sweater sleeve, raising his hand to wipe the tear tracks from Tommy’s cheeks. “Not at all.” 

“This is one of my favorite Christmases, actually,” Techno grumbled, still holding Tommy’s hands even after he finished. “Would’ve been better if you avoided getting hurt, but still good nonetheless.” 

“As long as you’re safe, we’re happy,” Phil told him. “It’s been a wonderful Christmas, Tommy.”

It wasn’t pretty. Not very many things were. But it was Christmas. And something about Christmas made even the saddest memories feel important. Wilbur pressed his cheek against the top of Tommy’s head. They sat in their circle on the kitchen’s cold hardwood floor, comfortable in each other’s company. The dishes were abandoned in the sink. The table still needed to be cleaned. There was still wrapping paper littering his living room floor. For all Wilbur cared, the rest of the world was on pause. He’d sit with his family for a while. They’d worry about everything else later. His little brother needed him right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a bandaid on my left thumb it's so hard to type on phone so I finally wrote something in google docs


	22. Alone. Alone. Alone.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy thought his heart might have stopped beating. He definitely stopped breathing for a second. Techno’s flight back to America was this weekend. His biggest fear was coming for him faster than he expected it to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> speedrun the last chapters go go go

Tommy didn’t remember falling asleep, yet he woke up in Wilbur’s bed. The dim Christmas lights hanging above the bed lit the room, making him feel extremely cozy. A heavy blanket covered his frame and did not help his desire to get up. He rolled over and spotted his phone on the bedside table. He scooped it up and clicked on the screen. It was 7:43 PM. He had slept… for a while. Like, five hours. More of a full sleep than a nap. He probably should get up. He didn’t want to waste anymore time.

Shoving the blanket from his legs and stumbling to his feet took a lot more effort than he would like to admit. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes as he made his way toward the stairs. He wasn’t sure how ready he was to face the men upstairs, but he had to eventually. He’d been trying to avoid thinking about how eventually they’d have to go their separate ways again, and hearing Phil and Wilbur’s conversation in the kitchen had broken something that was lilting on a perilous ledge in his heart. It’d tilted just far enough the wrong way to make him shatter like the glass he’d dropped. They probably needed to have an actual conversation about it. One where Tommy didn’t break down at the seams at the mere mention of it. He grimaced as he climbed the stairs. It was very embarrassing now that the moment had passed.

He could hear talking in the living room when he reached the landing. He approached carefully, sliding socked feet across the wood floor. He didn’t really know why he decided to hide. He hid inside the doorway, listening to the conversation through the cracked open door.

“We have to tell him eventually,” Phil’s voice said, “sooner rather than later.”

“I know, it’s just,” Wilbur sighed, and Tommy could imagine the hand running through his hair, “after today, I don’t know how he’s gonna react. I don’t want it to be worse than… than that.”

“None of us _liked it_ , Wil, but it’s not gonna be any better if we wait until the last minute,” Techno reasoned.

Wilbur heaved again. “I know, I know.”

“My flight’s this weekend. If we spring it on him last minute, then I’ll never forgive myself,” Techno said.

Tommy thought his heart might have stopped beating. He definitely stopped breathing for a second. Techno’s flight back to America was this weekend. His biggest fear was coming for him faster than he expected it to be. 

“We can tell him together tomorrow, yeah?” Phil said, kindness dripping from his words.

Tommy would miss Phil’s gentle looks and steadying arm around his shoulder.

“I hate it. I didn’t think I’d hate it so much,” Wilbur complained.

Tommy wouldn’t be greeted by a hug from Wilbur each time they were separated for any extended period of time.

“It sucks,” Techno huffed, “a lot.”

He thought he’d miss Techno’s hugs and comforting presence most of all.

“We still have time,” Phil comforted. “Besides, it’s not the end of the world. We can always do this again.”

Tommy felt like it was the end of the world. He felt his hands shaking as he slowly peered into the room. Wilbur had his head in his hands. Phil was rubbing a hand up and down his back. Techno sat on another couch, staring down at his phone disdainfully. The atmosphere was so melancholic and depressing. Tommy winced. Wasn’t he the cause of this? At least a little bit? 

“Maybe, but… but this was important. It still is important. Having to send Tommy back after everything just feels…” Wilbur, for once, seemed to be lost for words.

“Wrong,” Techno supplied simply.

Wilbur nodded. “Wrong.”

Tommy stared at the space between them. Four stockings hung on the fireplace. One for each of them. They were all incredibly mismatched. They were old, new, worn, fresh, colorful, patterned, and across the board three different sizes. They looked perfect together. Tommy didn’t ever want them to split apart. Not today. Not tomorrow. He wanted them to be together. Always.

“Yeah,” Phil agreed somberly. “It does.” 

The silence between them was deafening. Tommy felt like he would choke on it. He stumbled away from the living room, careening towards the front door. He needed a moment. He needed some time to breathe. The house felt suffocating, and his vision blurred as tugged on his shoes. 

“We won’t be there anymore,” Wilbur was saying as Tommy struggled to pull on his other sneaker. “Sure, there’s Discord, but it’s-it’s not the same.”

Tommy agreed. It _wasn’t_ the same. He couldn’t feel touch through Discord. He couldn’t see the subtle changes to Techno’s expression through Discord. He couldn’t have Wilbur’s arm slung around his shoulder through Discord. He couldn’t feel Phil tousle his hair through Discord. The comfort and warmth of just having someone at your side was impossible to achieve through modern communication. He wouldn’t get that at home, as much a home as he could call it. Here he was safe. Here he was cared for. What was he at home besides an obligation? 

Tommy opened the front door, feeling his lungs constrict. The cool air washed over him and spilled into the foyer. He stared at the street outside. He wasn’t ready to face this yet. He didn’t want Techno to leave so soon. He felt his heart racing and wasn’t sure if he’d taken a breath since he heard, but-but this couldn’t end so soon. He wasn’t ready. He’d said it already. He didn’t want to go. Nothing better than this was waiting for him once his parents returned. 

Tommy stepped out the door and shut it behind him. As soon as his feet hit the sidewalk, he took off at a sprint. He wasn’t thinking straight. His body finally forced him to take a breath, gasping as he ran. Why-Why did all have to end so soon? He was just understanding everything he was feeling. He was finally understanding what having a family was supposed to be. His life was good. He’d been happier and more taken care of than he’d ever been. He didn’t want to lose it.

Every day Tommy feared when he would lose this. He was always waiting for the day Wilbur, Phil, and Techno got tired of him and left him behind. Since he’d talked about his nightmare with Wil, that fear was starting to dissipate. It felt unreasonable. Now, he was scared of losing what they’d made. He was-He was getting better. He didn’t want to leave and have no one care about him again. He didn’t want to regress back to how he was living before. If Techno was leaving-what would happen to him?

Tommy stumbled down a staircase, tripping as his feet hit sand. He fell to his knees, his entire body shaking with a growing panic. All those months ago, Tommy didn’t know what about his life would change when he officially joined the Sleepy Bois. He didn’t know how much closer he would grow to Phil and Techno or how good it would feel to have people who helped him grow and praised his effort and results. He didn’t expect to find a family. Everything about it was strange and unfitting, but it worked. By some weird miracle, they’d gotten to be friends. And Tommy… Tommy wasn’t ready to lose it. 

He wrapped his arms around himself, digging his nails into his shoulders. It was cold. He was alone. A mangled sob echoed across the beach, nearly lost in the wash and retreat of the waves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops! angst no comfort!


	23. Home for Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wilbur stared at his empty bed for a second longer. The blanket was tossed aside, Tommy’s phone was gone from the bedside table, and Wilbur felt himself starting to panic. He shut the door behind him and quickly climbed the stairs. He reached the landing and was met with Techno shoving on his shoes. Phil shoved a coat in his hands and pointed to the floor by the door. Wilbur followed his finger and inhaled sharply. Tommy’s shoes were gone. He just… wasn’t here. He left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah yes the continuation. Here's that closure y'all ordered

Wilbur heard the sound of a door closing behind him. He sat up, twisting to look behind him. The living room door was still cracked. Phil turned to match him, leaning to try and see something.

“Did you hear something?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Wilbur answered quickly, getting to his feet and heading towards the door. “Tommy? Are you there?”

He pulled open the door. No one was there. He peered down the hallway and saw nothing. He heard Phil and Techno rise from the sofas as he moved towards the stairs. He peered down, expecting to see Tommy hiding there, but found nothing. He hurried down, moving to his room and opening the door. His hand tightened around the doorknob. Tommy was gone. 

“Wil!” Phil’s voice called down the stairs. “I think you should come up here!”

Wilbur stared at his empty bed for a second longer. The blanket was tossed aside, Tommy’s phone was gone from the bedside table, and Wilbur felt himself starting to panic. He shut the door behind him and quickly climbed the stairs. He reached the landing and was met with Techno shoving on his shoes. Phil shoved a coat in his hands and pointed to the floor by the door. Wilbur followed his finger and inhaled sharply. Tommy’s shoes were gone. He just… wasn’t here. He left. 

“I’m calling him,” Wilbur stated, pulling his phone from his pocket. “His phone wasn’t on the bedside table. He has it with him.”

He held his phone up to his ear as Phil nodded and moved to put on his shoes. Wil’s eyes lingered on the coat rack, listening to the phone ring. Tommy hadn’t taken his coat. When he was sent to voicemail, he called again. He shoved his phone between his shoulder and his ear and tugged on his boots. The ringing stopped early. Wilbur slowly took his phone back in his hand.

“He hung up on me,” Wilbur mumbled. 

“Then we’ll just have to go find him,” Techno grumbled stubbornly. 

Wilbur’s grip on his phone strengthened. This was their fault. He must have heard their conversation. But why? Why wouldn’t he accept Wilbur’s call?

Phil’s hand on his shoulder steadied his speeding heartbeat. “We can split up. He couldn’t have gotten too far, it hasn’t been that long.”

“Yeah, maybe, but he’s alone and it’s freezing outside. I-We have no idea where he is or what he’s doing or if he’s okay-!” Wilbur cut himself off. He couldn’t overreact and freak out now. 

Techno opened the door and stepped onto the front steps. Wilbur slipped on his coat and followed him out, grabbing Tommy’s off the hook as he went. 

“He’s not dumb. He’s not gonna get himself into a situation where he isn’t safe,” Techno insisted, half sounding like he was trying to convince himself of the same thing. 

Phil shut the door behind them as they descended to the sidewalk. They split up and promised to call as soon as they found him. Phil and Techno went deeper into the city while Wilbur headed towards the beach. His house wasn’t that far of a walk from the boardwalk. He really hoped Tommy wasn’t too far.

On a scale, he thought this had to be the worst outcome. There was no way this could possibly be worse. Tommy was _missing_. Wilbur’s heart was in his throat. At any second, he felt like he could shatter. He had the one responsibility of watching over Tommy, and he’d failed. He still wasn’t answering his phone, and it wasn’t helping Wilbur’s mood.

This was at least partially his fault. Tommy had to have heard them talking about Techno’s flight. He couldn’t think of any other reason for this to happen. But hadn’t he heard them talk about everything else, too? About how much they didn’t want this to be over either? How much they didn’t want him to feel bad? If Tommy was stuck in some kind of spiral because of this, Wilbur hoped they found him sooner rather than later. 

The streets of Brighton were empty. It was Christmas night, for god’s sake. How many people were gonna be roaming the streets instead of staying inside with their family? It made Wilbur feel slightly more at ease, all things considered. It was much less likely something bad happened. He didn’t want to think about the absolute worst case scenario. He shook his head in an attempt to clear it. It hadn’t been that long. He’d be okay. Tommy had to be okay.

The roar of the ocean felt louder at night. It was the only sound Wilbur heard. Seeing the boardwalk in complete darkness and being entirely empty was strange. It left Wilbur feeling uneasier than he already was. He quickly crossed the street, seeing no one on the road ahead of him. His eyes scanned the beach, and he exhaled enough stress in his body for a lifetime. He took the stairs down two at a time, nearly sprinting across the sand to reach the hunched form he saw. The closer he got, the more he was sure it was Tommy, and the more he was sure Tommy wasn’t really okay. Tommy was on his knees, hunched over himself, digging his nails deep enough in his arms that Wilbur could see crescents being formed in his skin. His breathing was erratic and Wilbur could see as he crouched that his eyes were clamped shut.

“Tommy,” Wilbur announced himself softly. 

He reached out and as his fingers grazed Tommy’s shoulder, he jerked away, falling back into the sand. His head snapped up, and when his eyes met with Wilbur’s, he immediately curled on himself tightly. He was hyperventilating, and Wilbur felt responsible. He placed his hands on Tommy’s shoulders, pulling him to his chest when he didn’t flinch away this time. 

“Tommy, darling, listen to me,” Wilbur started, only half surprised as the pet name slipped from his lips, “can you try to match my breathing? You’re safe, I promise. Just focus on my breathing.”

Wilbur tried to settle his rapidly beating heart, keeping his breaths steady so Tommy could follow. He knew he had to call Phil and Techno and let them know Tommy was safe, but they could wait just a bit longer. 

“Wil, I’m sorry. This is all my fault, I-I shouldn’t be fucking _hyperventilating_ over this,” Tommy sobbed between breaths. “I-I’ve fucking ruined everything and I’m _sorry-_ ”

“It’s okay, Toms,” Wilbur whispered. “You haven’t done anything. You don’t need to apologize.” 

He held Tommy tighter, listening as his struggle to breathe turned into crying. His bandaged fingers released his arms and latched onto Wilbur’s jacket. His jacket-Tommy wasn’t wearing one. Wilbur reached around, grabbing Tommy’s coat he’d left in the sand, and tossed it around the teen’s shoulders. He wrapped his arms around Tommy’s shoulders and just held him. He only eased his grip when Tommy barely pulled himself away, one hand still clutching Wilbur’s jacket while the other wiped the tears from his face.

“Techno’s-Techno’s flight is really this weekend?” he asked, voice small. Wilbur could barely hear him over the ocean waves. 

“Yeah,” Wilbur answered quietly, taking a hand and brushing the hair from Tommy’s face. “We didn’t want you to find out like this.”

“I’m sorry, it just- It scared me,” Tommy admitted, releasing Wilbur to tug his coat tighter around his shoulders. “I didn’t want to figure out that you guys only cared about me because I’m close by. And now that Techno’s leaving, I’m-I’m just… not looking forward to things going back to the way they were.”

Wilbur honestly felt like he could cry. Had he missed something? Was there something he did that made Tommy think that they’d stop caring about his well being once they were separated again?

“Things are _never_ going back to the way they were,” Wilbur said fiercely, continuing despite his voice cracking. “Tommy, we care about you so, so much. Even if we’re not in the same house anymore, that doesn’t mean we’re going to stop making sure you’re okay. We have every intention of making sure you eat and sleep enough and that you don’t get too far into your own head. We just want what’s best for you, Toms. You can still talk to us at any time and-and I know it won’t be the same. I hate how much it won’t be like this, but-but I’ll still always be here if you need me, okay?” 

Tommy bit his lip and tears built up in the corners of his eyes, but he nodded. He lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Wilbur’s chest, squeezing him tight. Wilbur slung an arm around his waist, starting to rock back and forth gently in the sand. He tried to blink the tears from his own eyes, but only succeeded in forcing them down his cheeks. He pulled out his phone, then, and called Phil to let him know they were okay.

They started the walk back home shortly after. Wilbur got Tommy to put his coat on and kept him under his arm the entire way. He felt Tommy tense up as they approached the house. Phil was sitting on the steps, staring down at the sidewalk. Techno was pacing in front of him. Wilbur gave Tommy’s shoulders a light squeeze. 

“It’s alright,” he promised softly. “They’re worried about you just as much as I was.” 

Techno spotted them as he spun around in his cycle. The tension immediately left his shoulders. He speed walked toward them, and Wilbur was glad Tommy left his side to accept the hug Techno gave him. Wilbur wasn’t sure he’d ever see Techno hug someone so tightly again. 

“I’m sorry, Tommy,” Techno apologized as soon as he had Tommy in his arms. “I freaked you out when I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s-It’s alright, Techno,” Tommy stuttered. Wilbur watched him press himself a bit closer to Techno. “I-I just realized how much I’d miss you.” 

Wilbur didn’t know how possible it was for Techno to hold Tommy closer, but it looked like he tried to. Phil appeared on Tommy’s other side, placing a hand on Tommy and Techno’s shoulders. 

“Let's talk inside, yeah? Get outta this cold,” Phil urged gently. 

Techno nodded, finally letting Tommy slip away. Before any of them moved, Phil let Tommy hug him tight. They went inside a short while later, ditching their shoes and coats by the door. They all sat on one sofa, even though spacing out definitely would’ve been more comfy. Wilbur and Techno had Tommy stuffed between them, with Phil sitting on Wilbur’s other side.

“I’m sorry we were hiding this from you for so long,” Techno apologized again.

“Really, it’s okay,” Tommy responded. He pulled his knees to his chest and tilted his head to the side. “I haven’t been exactly easy to deal with recently, so…” 

“It’s no bother, mate,” Phil assured. “We didn’t wanna overwhelm you with anything, so we were just waiting for the right time to say something.” 

Tommy sat and took the information in, nodding when he was done comprehending it. He asked quietly, “And then what? What happens after you leave?” 

“Well… not a lot. It’ll just be me and Phil here until your parents get back,” Wilbur answered. 

“Yeah, I know that, I meant… I meant after that,” Tommy elaborated nervously. “What happens?”

The sadness in his voice made Wilbur’s chest hurt. He slipped his hand into Tommy’s and held it tight. He said, “We stay a family. Nothing more, nothing less.” 

Tommy lifted his head, staring at Wilbur in disbelief. “Really?”

“Sounds about right to me,” Phil agreed.

“Just because I’m leaving doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop caring about you, nerd,” Techno added, reaching up to ruffle Tommy’s hair. “You’re my friend--my dumb little brother, even. That’s not changin’.”

Wilbur watched Tommy melt at Techno’s words. He twisted to wrap his arms around Techno’s neck and hug him. The suddenness startled him, but Techno smiled after a moment and returned the embrace. Wilbur sighed and leaned back into the couch. If he was being honest, he was the same amount of ecstatic Tommy was at Techno’s words. It wasn’t often he’d admit loving Tommy so much. 

“You don’t have to worry about us, Toms, we’ll always be here for you,” he promised, taking his turn to run a hand through Tommy’s hair. 

Tommy slinked away from Techno and nodded, wiping building tears from the corners of his eyes. He sighed and said, “Yeah, I-I believe you.” 

Wilbur felt his heart swell. Tommy sounded hopeful. For the first time all night, Wilbur could believe that Tommy wasn’t scared of tomorrow. Whatever voice in his head was making him worry so much had gone quiet. It was the best Christmas gift Wilbur could have asked for.

“Now stop crying, I don’t want you to be sad for the rest of the time I’m here,” Techno teased, bumping his shoulder against Tommy’s.

Tommy giggled. “I’m not crying! I’m sweating through my eyes. You two are so warm.”

“Should we move?” Wilbur asked with a smile, no intention of moving in his mind.

“No!” Tommy answered quickly, wrapping his arms around one of Wil’s to keep him in place. “I mean, it’s… it’s alright.”

“That’s what I thought,” Wilbur said, satisfied.

“You’re such a dick.”

“You love me.”

“Do not.”

“My lie detector is sensing otherwise,” Phil commented. 

“Mine too,” Techno added. “You’ve been caught in the act, Tommy.”

“Fine, fine! I love all of you, are you happy?” Tommy replied, face flushing.

“Yes, thank you,” Wilbur nodded. “I love you too.”

Phil laughed, “Love you too, Toms.” 

“Love you too,” Techno sighed with a smile. 

Some invisible weight on Wilbur’s shoulders felt like it had been lifted. In it’s place was a warm determination and love. What they had, smushed together on that couch, was special. If it wasn’t solidified before, it definitely was now. This was home. If someday Wilbur lost everything, he knew he’d have this. And he didn’t think anything could take that certainty away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter!!! I hope y'all stick around for the end and enjoyed everything so far <3


	24. It's Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno couldn't believe what he was doing. His heart was beating too fast and his anxiety was spiking, but he couldn't stop now. It was much too late to go back. He couldn't just walk back in the terminal and hop on the plane that had already taken off. He could not believe he was doing this. But he'd done it. He'd purposefully missed his flight back home. 
> 
> What the hell was he doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUUYYYS ITS THE EEENNDD I'M SO SAD!! This fic was such a good experience for me and I'm really proud of the work I've done, and that I finished it at all. This is the longest chapter yet and one of the ones I'm proudest of, so I hope you all like it, and I'm wishing you all the best in 2021!

Techno couldn't believe what he was doing. His heart was beating too fast and his anxiety was spiking, but he couldn't stop now. It was much too late to go back. He couldn't just walk back in the terminal and hop on the plane that had already taken off. He could not believe he was doing this. But he'd done it. He'd purposefully missed his flight back home. 

What the hell was he doing.

Wilbur, Phil, and Tommy had dropped him off at the airport over an hour ago. They were probably already back at Wilbur’s place, expecting him to be on his flight safe and sound. No such thing was true. Techno was not on his flight, he was probably safe, but he was not sound. Part of him hated himself for his decision making--life would be so much easier if he just did what he was supposed to--but the other part was strangely excited. This was definitely something he’d never done before. Phil’d probably scold him. Wilbur and Tommy would be laughing at him. 

This was Tommy’s fault. His parents had alerted them that they wouldn’t be coming back until a week after Christmas, and that threw off the schedule they’d cobbled together at the last minute. Techno was supposed to stay through Christmas and Tommy’s parents were supposed to be back by now. Neither of those things were happening. 

Techno had seen sides to Tommy he’d only gotten described to him over text and voice call. He saw how Tommy forgot to eat and worried about his stream quality and burnt out up close and personal. Techno didn’t think he’d ever forget it. He’d watched Tommy have a fearful breakdown at the mention of his flight. He had practically no desire to leave right after that. 

Despite everything, this trip was fun. He wasn’t exactly happy it was (supposed to be) ending, either. One thing he thought for certain, before he’d made the decision to exit the terminal, was that he would be checking up with Tommy much more than he usually did. Phil and Wilbur were much closer, yeah, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t do anything. 

It’s not like he could fully blame Tommy for what he was doing. The kid had just influenced his willingness to actually go through with it. And, honestly, it wasn’t going as well as Techno hoped it would be. For one thing, he barely had any money that he could use on him. For another, he had little to no idea how the British train system worked. The nail in his coffin was that he already left the airport and was standing in line to buy a train ticket. His hands were sweating from nervousness, which was frankly disgusting, but something he’d grown used to throughout his life. He unclenched his hand from his suitcase to wipe his palm across his pant leg. The closer he got to the front of the line, the quicker his heartbeat became. God, this was terrible.

Still, he somehow managed to get the right ticket, even if it was after a few minutes of uncomfortable stammering and questions. The ticket lady seemed to pity him, though, and gave him directions to the right platform. He greatly appreciated her, she was doing God’s work, but that didn’t stop him from being completely embarrassed. 

He didn’t realize how fast he was walking until he reached his stop and noticed he had ten minutes until the train arrived. Fantastic. He glanced around briefly before spotting an open bench and claiming it as his own. He hoped British people were like all Americans and would leave an empty seat between them if they decided to sit there. 

Techno closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Why was he worried about what Phil would say? His parents would be the ones killing him. They expected him to be home tomorrow. They’d be reprimanding him for his financial choices for at least a year, after this. Phil would do the same for like, ten minutes, max. He opened his eyes and slipped his phone from his pocket. The time was 11:36 PM. His flight had taken off nearly half an hour ago. He had two messages on his lock screen, both of which he’d chosen to ignore as he got them. One from Phil, asking if he’d made it through security and everything okay, and another from his father, asking if his flight was on time and if they should be there to pick him up. 

Techno powered off his phone and continued to ignore both messages, when neither of them should be ignored. Especially at this point. 

Instead of focusing on everything going wrong, Techno focused on the sounds of the train station around him. The cool, late night air whipped through the platform and sent a chill down his spine. His foot tapped restlessly, making a constant _tap tap tap_ against the concrete. Announcements pinged over the intercom, relaying departures and arrivals to and from various places. Train lines rattled throughout the station, the sound of brakes steaming intermittent between it all. It made him feel like he should’ve gone into sensory overload, but he could only focus on one thing.

How he really wasn’t supposed to be here right now. 

Suddenly, the train flew into the station, and Techno was standing and moving towards it without hesitation. He climbed aboard with the few other passengers, found his seat and stored his things, and sat down. He stared out the window, thoughts jumbling together unhelpfully. Maybe it wasn’t too late. He could get off this train, go buy another plane ticket, and tell his dad his flight had been delayed and blame it on Delta Airlines being Delta Airlines. He could act like none of this had ever happened until three years in the future where it would just be a funny story to tell. He dug his fingers into his backpack, which he’d kept sat on his lap, and held it close to his chest. He would hate to walk back into the airport, though, facing the same clerks and security workers he’d seen two hours prior. They’d see this random dude pass through two times in the same night, and the ticket lady would see him walk out after she’d so kindly given him directions. Techno sighed heavily and hid his face in his backpack. This was ridiculous. He was being ridiculous. There was no way they’d remember him, if the same workers were still even on duty, they’d-

The train lurched, and Techno realized he didn’t have his seatbelt buckled. They were on the move. Now it was really too late. Techno fumbled with the buckle for a second before strapping himself in. He’d spent so long thinking, the world had made the decision for him. 

The time it took to get to Brighton by train was just under thirty five minutes. Techno had thirty five minutes to think of an explanation. He leaned forward, bumping his head against the seat in front of him rougher than intended. He pulled out his phone again, staring at the messages from Phil and his dad. He slid open the one from his dad first. 

He stared at the text box, watching the cursor waiting for text blink imposingly. He poised his thumbs to start typing… and continued to stare. What the hell could he say to explain this? _Sorry Dad, didn’t feel like leaving yet, try again next week,_ like, that was crazy. He switched to his text thread with Phil instead, hoping that would make anything easier. He could hear Phil’s voice through his texts. He felt like texting him now would only get a disappointed response. _Hey, I missed my flight on purpose cause the thought of leaving you all early made me sadder than I liked, can you come pick me up?_ Techno huffed, lightly banging his head against the seat back again. This was so stupid. This was an impulsive, Tommy-like decision. He shouldn’t let the kid influence him this much. 

He never got the chance to send either message, because they’d already arrived at their destination. Techno forced himself to stand up and grab his bags. He slung his backpack over his shoulders and hurried off the train. He followed the thin stream of people leaving the train station and stepped out onto the streets of Brighton. He quickly realized two things: 1. He was alone, with no one waiting to pick him up. 2. He had no idea where to go. 

His grip tightened on his backpack straps. He watched people hop into cars and drive away or purposefully walk either way down the street. They had plans. They knew where they were going. Techno had no plans, and had no idea where he was supposed to go or what he was supposed to do from this point. He wished he’d just sucked it up and got on his plane. 

Feeling his breathing start to quicken, Techno chose a direction and walked in it. He couldn’t stand in front of the train station forever, and he really didn’t want someone to come up to him and ask if he needed something and immediately trigger an anxiety attack. He had no idea what he needed, besides that he needed to move to have any chance of keeping his sanity. Putting one foot in front of the other proved to be very hard, but he managed. He made it all the way down the block, looked both ways, and chose another direction. 

He should call someone. Let anyone in the world know he didn’t get kidnapped or murdered in an airport bathroom. Techno reached another street corner, took another turn. He should take a moment, try to calm down his ramping anxiety, not keep walking and getting himself more and more lost. 

Techno breathed in sharply. He stopped in his tracks, blinking rapidly. His head was spinning. His chest hurt. A lot. He looked around and quickly realized he had no clue how far from the train station he’d walked. Breathing was hard at the moment, and he was just able to recognize that he was next to a park. He dragged his suitcase through the wet grass and sat down on an equally wet bench. His hands shook as he fumbled for his phone. A throb of dull pain stabbed his skull at the thought of his unanswered texts. Still, his fingers powered through and opened his contacts. He clicked on Phil’s contact, not sure if he really wanted him to answer or decline him. He put his phone on speaker and tilted his head back. The world felt like it was slipping away beneath him, but the feeling of the lack of oxygen in his lungs kept him somewhat grounded. His breath hitched as his phone stopped ringing and the speaker crackled. Phil had picked up.

-

Phil was half asleep on the couch, texting Kristen with today’s updates. He’d turned the TV off a while ago, when Wilbur and Tommy had both fallen asleep. They were entangled on the other couch, cuddling in a way that was disgustingly cute. Tommy had been mopey ever since they said their farewells to Techno at the airport. After lots of hugs and tears, he’d glued himself to Wilbur’s side in stubborn sadness. Now, as Tommy laid on top of Wilbur, sprawled across the couch, both of them peacefully asleep, the heavy atmosphere had lifted. 

They’d gotten back from the airport just over an hour ago. Wilbur and Tommy had been asleep for most of that time. Phil had texted Techno almost as soon as they got back, and he still hadn’t received a response. Phil had his concerns, but he also expected Techno not to respond if he had nothing to say. Besides, if his flight left on time, he’d already be in the air and he wouldn’t be getting a response anyways.

So, he continued to text Kristen, smiling as he sent her a picture of the boys on the couch. He dropped his phone on his chest and leaned back, ready to fall asleep himself. He was getting way too comfortable with this couch…

The sudden ringing of his phone startled the sleep out of him. He sat up quickly, catching his phone as it fell. He stared at the contact, confused and mildly concerned, as Wil woke with a jolt on the other couch. Phil forgot all notions of sleep and answered the call.

“Techno? What’s-What’s going on? Did your flight get delayed?” he asked.

“Did you say ‘Techno’?” Wilbur asked, still in the process of waking up. 

“Hey, Phil,” Techno’s voice answered tightly after a moment. “No, none-none of that, actually. My flight left on time.”

“Then-Then why are you calling me? Where are you?” Phil questioned, sitting up fully. 

“I, uh, I did something bad, Phil,” Techno told him, sounding breathless, panicked. 

Phil locked eyes with Wilbur and stood up. Wil began to gently shake Tommy awake as Phil headed towards the door. “Explain it to me, Techno. What’s going on?” 

“I-I missed my flight on-uh-on purpose,” Techno stammered. 

“Okay, can you tell me why?” Phil urged, shoving on his shoes as Wilbur and Tommy joined him. 

“I-I don’t know, I didn’t want to leave, I guess,” Techno supplied and Phil could hear him struggle to gather his next breath. “Breathing’s kinda hard right now, Phil, this-this is kinda hard.” 

“That’s okay, Techno, take some time to breathe, alright? I’m not hanging up. When you catch your breath, can you tell me where you are now?” Phil asked him, gentle but firm. 

“What-What’s going on? What’s up with Techno?” Tommy asked uneasily. 

Wilbur shushed him softly as they stepped back out into the night. Phil climbed into the passenger seat of the car as Wilbur took the wheel. He listened to Techno breathe unsteadily, waiting and hoping for a response. 

“I’m-uh-in a park,” Techno told him slowly. “I-I don’t know which way I went from the train station.” 

_Train station._

“Are you in Brighton?” Phil asked.

He could practically hear Techno swallow and the panicked exhale that came after. “Yeah-Yeah I am.” 

The realization struck Phil like a truck. He put the call on speaker and mumbled, “He’s in Brighton. Skipped his flight and came back.”

Wilbur’s eyes widened and he briefly glanced Phil’s direction before focusing back on the road. Tommy had leaned between the front seats and was staring at Phil’s phone in what looked like horror. 

“There’s a- swing set, over by a slide,” Techno described shakily. “There’s-um-a lot of trees and-and I think a flower shop across the street? I dunno, it’s dark, I can’t tell, Phil.” 

Wilbur’s jaw locked and he sped up slightly. That seemed to be enough details. Phil said softly, “That’s okay, Techno, you’re doing great. We’ll be there soon, okay?” 

He heard Techno breathe in and out. “Okay. I-I’m sorry, I’m being stupid and now I’m lost like a-a dumbass and I didn’t answer your text because I was scared, but now it’s just _so_ much worse-” 

“Techno, calm down. It’s gonna be alright,” Phil insisted. “I’m not mad, I just want you to stay on the phone with me until we get there.” 

Techno made a noise similar to a pained hum that frayed Phil’s nerves. Tommy leaned further over the center console, swallowing before he spoke.

“Hey, Techno?” he tried nervously. 

A pause. “Hey, Tommy.” 

Tommy smiled. “I miss you already, Big T.” 

A shaky breath. “I miss you, too.” 

“Wil does, too. He wouldn’t shut up about it,” Tommy told him.

“That’s not true,” Wilbur cut in stiffly, letting his voice ease up when he added, “but I do miss you.” 

“I’m sorry,” Techno choked out again. “I shouldn’t have done this.” 

“Stop it,” Tommy said sharply. “We don’t care if it's a nuisance or whatever, we care about you, dickhead.” 

In straight Tommy fashion, the words weren’t soft or nice, but summed up the feelings in the car pretty well. Techno didn’t say anything after that, but Phil could still hear him fighting himself for control of his breathing back. Wilbur was stopping the car, and Phil’s eyes immediately landed on the hunched form of Techno on a bench. He quickly got out of the car, taking his phone off speaker as he sped across the grass. Techno looked up, hearing him approach. He looked lost as to what to do, but he gripped his phone tighter in his hands as Phil sat next to him. 

He lightly tapped Techno’s shoulder with his fingertips and asked, “Can I hug you?” 

Techno nodded stiffly, and Phil felt him deflate as he wrapped his arms around him. He gently ran his fingers along Techno’s back. He felt his head press into his shoulder, followed by a sigh that shook his whole body. Phil had never been present for one of Techno’s anxiety attacks. He’d read about them online a few times, just to make sure he knew what to do if he did ever end up being there during one. He could hardly believe this was happening. Techno must have gotten himself so worked up about this for this to happen.

“Is it calming down?” Phil asked quietly. 

Techno nodded into his shoulder. “Yeah.”

Phil hummed. “Good, good.” 

Times like these made Phil remember how old Techno was. He was just 21. Barely old enough to drink legally in the U.S., barely old enough to have real world experience. He always seemed older, more mature, more hardened to life’s hardships. Techno was still a human being. He felt regular emotions just like everyone else, despite the image of him shared around. Sometimes, he felt too much. And Phil recognized that. 

“Ready to go?” Phil questioned, feeling Techno’s shoulders finally stop trembling. 

Techno slowly leaned away. He took a deep breath, and nodded. Phil grabbed his suitcase as they stood. He kept a hand on Techno’s back as they walked towards the car. Wilbur and Tommy stood waiting, leaning against the side. Tommy was pressed against Wilbur’s side, shivering in the cold. As they approached, he perked up. He pushed himself off the car and smothered Techno in a surprisingly careful hug. Techno returned the embrace, allowing Wilbur to do the same once Tommy pulled away. As they all piled into the car, Phil ended their phone call. He could see Techno and Tommy leaning against each other, both struggling to not fall asleep in the rearview mirror. 

Back at Wilbur’s, Phil pulled Techno’s suitcase from the trunk while Tommy stubbornly insisted he carry Techno’s backpack for him. They left Techno’s things by the door and congregated in the living room. Instead of occupying the couches, Techno had collapsed on the floor in front of one. Wilbur had pushed the coffee table out to accommodate and sat beside him. Phil sank to the floor on Techno’s other side while Tommy sat beside Wilbur. There was silence for a moment, none of them wanting to force anything. Techno released the breath he seemed to be holding and let his head fall back against the sofa.

“Sorry for worryin’ you guys,” he mumbled. 

“It’s alright, Techno,” Phil promised softly. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Techno huffed. “Not really.” He brought his hands up and covered his face. He said in one low breath, “What am I gonna tell my dad?”

“Well, why didn’t you get on your flight?” Phil prompted. 

“Fine, I’ll talk,” Techno conceded, throwing his hands up before letting them fall to his lap. “I didn’t wanna leave. The more I thought about it, the more I hated the idea of getting on that plane. Then I didn’t get on my flight, and I realized I had no idea what I was doing, and I somehow managed to get here through a slowly building anxiety attack I got myself into. Now I have to figure out how to explain to my dad that I’m not coming home tomorrow and hope that he’s not that mad at me.” 

Phil frowned slightly. He took one of Techno’s hands in his, rubbing his thumb across the back as Techno latched onto his fingers tightly. He asked, “Why didn’t you call me earlier? We would’ve come and gotten you.”

“I know, I was just panickin’ and I-” Techno chuckled nervously. “-I didn’t want you to be disappointed in me, or somethin’.” He laughed again, pressing the knuckles of his free hand into his cheek. “God, that’s so childish. What’s wrong with me?” 

Wilbur reached up to take Techno’s other hand. “Absolutely nothing. You were overwhelmed, that’s all. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Techno swallowed. “I thought so much about how I didn’t want to go. It made me feel so-- _gross_ \--the idea of getting on that plane. I acted without thinking and-and that’s just never a good idea. But, I mean, I guess I’m here, so… so it’s okay? Sort of? I still have to answer my dad and, god, do I not wanna do that.”

“That’s fine,” Phil laughed lightly, squeezing Techno’s hand. “We can figure that out together.”

“Yeah,” Techno sighed, “okay.”

Phil could tell the stress was finally wearing off. Techno’s eyes were shut, and his hold on Phil’s hand was loosening. He slowly tilted to the side, head resting on Wilbur’s shoulder. Wil’s face lit up with something akin to honor and he happily rested his head atop Techno’s. Tommy climbed on top of the couch behind them, spreading out comfortably. He reached around to lightly tap Techno on the forehead.

“I’m glad you’re here, Tech,” he mumbled sleepily.

He detached his hand from Wilbur’s to grab Tommy’s out of the air. He pulled his arm over his shoulder and held his hand to his chest. He responded tiredly, “I’m glad I’m here, too.”

In minutes, Techno was asleep. Tommy followed soon after, hand still clasped in Techno’s. Wilbur looked about ready to pass out at any minute, eyelids drooping against his will has he forced himself awake each time they almost closed. Phil retrieved the blankets scattered around the living room, tossing one over Tommy and another over Wil and Techno. He settled himself next to Techno once more, wrapping his own blanket around his shoulders. He found Techno’s phone somewhere in their pile and took it upon himself to compose a text to send to Techno’s dad. He figured it would be better to answer it now rather than leaving him waiting until morning. 

It was crazy, the more Phil thought about it. He’d been ready to go back to voice calls and Discord messages. He didn’t think he’d be too bothered by the whole ordeal, but he found himself relishing a strange sense of relief sitting next to Techno on Wilbur’s living room floor. Maybe it was just because one of his best friends was having an anxiety attack alone in an unfamiliar city not even thirty minutes prior, but he was insanely happy to have Techno here. As Wilbur would put it, their little family was complete again. Realistically, Techno would only be here for another week, but Phil would take what he could get. 

This was, by no regular terms, a normal Christmas. It was filled with more tears and strife than Phil thought possible for a supposedly joyous holiday. That didn’t mean it was without it’s pleasantries, though. He remembered teaching Tommy how to make gingerbread cookies and how to wrap presents. He remembered Wilbur crashing Tommy’s stream with a sharpened candy cane, only to be shot down with a throw pillow from Techno. He remembered opening Christmas crackers when Tubbo came to visit. There were so many happy memories they had made, too. At the end of the day, Phil thought all of it would end up better. They’d be better and stronger people on the other side. 

Christmas was a time for family. Phil dearly loved the one he had made right here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I write Techno angst, he hits 5 mil, dare I say it was meant to be. But the idea of the NORAD Techno Tracker has been in my head for so long, you have no idea.

**Author's Note:**

> I appreciate any and all comments/kudos/bookmarks you choose to leave! 
> 
> You can follow my [tumblr](https://quibbels.tumblr.com/) for fic updates and my [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/quiblii) to see more stuff from me!


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